Why do I always choose the wrong sort of women to date? I look back on my life and notice I always walked right past really nice and beautiful women but beelined towards the ones who would wreak havoc on my life. I am a decent looking guy with a good job and pretty smart except for when it comes to picking women. When I look back, I see that all the signs were there from the beginning but I was blind to them or something. What is wrong with me?

–Disgusted (Mexico)


There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s called being human. Ha ha. The good thing, though, is, even as a human, you don’t have to keep repeating the same patterns of the past.

We’re often drawn to those with have karma with—perhaps one of the lessons you’re learning as a spirit is learning how to make choices in relationships that are healthier for you and to learn more deeply about what love is.

The key thing is to develop awareness, which you’re already doing a good job of since you’re asking this question instead of choosing to blindly keep following the same patterns.

The next step is sitting down and meditating on why you are drawn to women who have a chaotic effect on your life. Do you feel you’re not worthy of being with someone who is nice to you (and pretty too since you mention that) and is a positive influence on your life? If so, validate your worth and your right to be with someone who is a positive influence in your life. Do you feel like being with someone who is a disruptive influence is more exciting than being with someone you can count on? If so, maybe you need to find another source of excitement in your life. Like bungee jumping or crocodile wrestling. Ha ha.  Do you choose people that are similar to a parent (or choose the opposite of a parent out of resistance to being with someone like one of your parents)? That’s fine if you want to do that but you can choose consciously. Or do you choose these women because you think you can help them or heal them in some way because you do not feel that just being and not working for love is enough in a relationship? If so, notice that instinct when you are getting to know someone and decide if that’s really what you want in a relationship.

Congratulations on opening up your awareness so you can make choices that support and honor you.

Wishing you much love.


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