SUNDAY SHARE: SELF-DISCOVERY QUIZ

My friend Thais turned me onto this test. I did it and the description at the end after my answers were compiled seemed spot-on. Hoping you find it fun and informative and helpful. As with anything, use your own seniority and knowingness above anything else, but this is another cool tool to help you understand yourself in a different way.

http://www.16personalities.com

 

HOW DO I GET GUYS TO ASK ME OUT MORE?

How can I get guys to ask me out more?

—Wilting Wallflower (Canada)

DEAR W.W.:

If you want to get to know somebody, maybe you could take the initiative and invite them for coffee or something casual.

Notice too how you’re coming across to people. Perhaps you may want to meet people, but do you give off vibes through body language or other means that keep people away (avoiding eye contact or crossing your arms, for example). You might want to ask a couple close friends that have good people skills what they notice about what kind of signals you’re putting out, and let your signals match your intention by having as much fun as possible as you get to know various people, whether romantic possibilities or just generally cool people.

Enjoy!

DOES TRUMP WEAR A TOUPEE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Does Trump wear a toupée?

—Wigging Out with Curiosity (United States)

DEAR WIGGING OUT:

I am going to answer this question generally and not specifically about anyone in particular because I prefer to only look at personal questions when people request information about themselves or about things more personally relevant to their own lives.

Many people may think some people wear toupees if someone’s hair looks a little bit unnatural, whether it looks unusually full or somehow artificial in other ways. My understanding is that some of the early hair-replacement operations tended to have results that looked a bit artificial because the early hair implants put the individual hair follicles in straight rows rather than staggering them in patterns more commonly found in nature. That could be one possible reason why sometimes people believe that some men and women are wearing hairpieces.

If there are any hair-transplant specialists out there who would like to comment generally (but not about one specific person), please do so. Would love to hear your input as I am not a hair-transplant specialist.

HOW DO I OVERCOME MY FEAR OF SPEAKING IN PUBLIC?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have a phobia of speaking in public. How do I overcome this fear? It hurts me both professionally and socially.

—Scared Silent (United States)

Dear S.S.:

Perhaps you could look into a public-speaking class at an extended learning program or a Toastmasters meeting.

Start with small steps, like saying loudly to a group of people something like, “Hey, they just put out more pizza,” or something simple like that. If you are more comfortable with being in front of others in a particular way, do more of those things—for example, playing basketball with others while people are watching, or singing a song during karaoke or open mic at a small café, or maybe doing a fancy spin on the dance floor. You can try heading a meeting of three people if you’re working together on a project (maybe just standing up and saying, “Thank you for coming,” before the meeting starts). Gradually, do more and more as your comfort level increases. Don’t worry if you feel afraid—validate taking small steps and know that over time, that fear will decrease the more you desensitize yourself to the anxiety of speaking in front of a group.

Congratulations on taking these steps.

HOW DOES ONE COME OUT OF DEPRESSION AND START FEELING JOYOUS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Right now I feel there is no meaning to my existing on this planet. I realise I am suffering from depression. I’d rather not take medication but bring myself out of it. How can you come out of it and start feeling joyous about life again, despite your external circumstances?

—Depressed (Sweden)

 

DEAR D.:

First of all, if you feel depressed to the point of feeling like you seriously want to end things, please call emergency services or your doctor right away. Although I myself am not a big fan of certain medications, in extreme circumstances, we may need it till things balance themselves out to a safe level.

You can’t always change your external circumstances right away, but you can change the way you respond to those circumstances and you can train yourself to have more joy and gratitude. Start noticing all the small things you have to feel joyful about—a rainbow in the sky, the color of the blooms of a flower you walk by, or having your dog lick you, for example. The more you start to notice how many little things you have to feel joyous about, the more you will notice the blessings big and small in your life, and the more you may even attract more blessings.

You may even want to start volunteering for a cause you believe in. For example, if you love animals, there are tons of animals at humane societies that need some attention or walking or petting. Perhaps you are the one who can start giving more meaning to your existence. Your being on the planet is in itself a huge miracle and gift, but you can use your time and energy to add even more meaning and contribute to the world being a better place in any way you choose.

Thank you, my friend. Wishing you much joy.

SUNDAY SHARE: MALACHI THE PIT BULL BEAUTY

This just makes me laugh. Thought it might make you laugh too. Much love.

https://www.popsugar.com/beauty/Dog-Does-Beauty-Tutorials-44483379

 

HOW DO I CHANGE MY LIFE COMPLETELY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

What do you recommend for someone who wants to change her life completely?

—Ready (Brazil)

DEAR READY:

You might want to start by brainstorming what you want to create. Sky’s the limit.

Also let go of things that are draining your time and energy that no longer fit your goals or who you are today.

Then think about some practical steps (small and large) you need to take to get things moving. Get to know other people who are doing what you want to do and be inspired by them and learn from them.

If you’ve something you’re passionate about, make it happen and don’t let anything stand in your way, including yourself.

Congratulations on these changes, my friend.

HOW DO I GET MY PARENTS OFF THEIR iPHONES?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My parents are always on their iPhones. Help!

—Fed Up (United States)

DEAR F.U.:

Perhaps you could tell your parents you wish you had more time without the distractions of the iPhones. Maybe you could even ask if you could plan a camping vacation where there is no wi fi or electricity. Or if that doesn’t work, text them from across the dinner table, “Hello. Is anyone there?” or something like that.

If this doesn’t work, write back. Some people are truly addicted to their smartphones and sometimes that addiction needs a hello.

Congratulations on being aware of the dynamics here so that hopefully they can change.

WHY DO I ALWAYS WANT THE GIRL WHO IS OUT OF REACH?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Since I was 6 years old I seem to get fixated on the girl that’s “always out of reach.” I seem to be invisible to them and they always choose the other guy over me. I see a pattern since then and now throughout my adult life.

Do you think there’s a lesson to learn from this?

And how do you deal with obsession? How do you get past it? And should I try to get some counselling for it or can I resolve this one myself?

—Obsessed (Paraguay)

 

DEAR O.:

Perhaps you could start by looking at why you choose the girl that’s “out of reach” rather than a girl that’s within reach. Do you believe you’re unlovable and don’t deserve love? Does it feel safer to pine after someone out of reach than to open yourself up to the love that’s waiting for you? Does choosing someone out of reach keep a relationship safely in the realm of fantasy versus a human, real relationship with all the potential mess and delight that entails, with both of you showing up in your divine imperfection? Or do you love the “chase” more than the reality of a relationship?

Looking at these questions and developing your awareness of these matters will help you work through obsession in conjunction with counseling. Perhaps one of the lessons you’re working through is how to put your energy towards what you’re building versus what you’d like to build that is not based in reality. Perhaps you’re also learning to focus within on you versus on someone else and learning that true happiness and love comes from within.

HOW DO I DEAL WITH MY RICH FRIEND WHO CONSTANTLY COMPLAINS SHE DOESN’T HAVE ANY MONEY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am having financial trouble and things are so tight, it’s really scary. I have a part-time job but it doesn’t pay much and I’m still trying to find a full-time job. My question is not about this but that is the back story. I have a friend I went to school with who has such a lot of money—or at least it seems that way to me. She is always taking cruises and going abroad and buying things like $5,000 purses or a new fancy car every year. That’s fine but I get really annoyed because she always says she doesn’t have any money. Clearly that is not the case. Should I say something to her about how I feel when she talks like this?

—More and More Annoyed (United States)

DEAR M.A.M.A.:

If she is really your friend, it is worth it to have a conversation about how you feel when you hear her talk like this. Try to get really neutral first on your own, then start an honest conversation in the vibration of wanting to have a real and authentic relationship with your friend. Perhaps you could say something like, “We’ve been friends for a long time and I appreciate that but I’d like to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me because otherwise it might get in the way of our friendship. Sometimes I feel annoyed when I often hear you say you don’t have any money, but you seem to have money. This probably bothers me even more because I’ve been struggling financially.” See how your friend responds and you can go from there.

The important thing to remember is to be honest and loving, to validate your reality and be open to hearing your friends, and to talk in the spirit of deepening a long-lasting friendship with authenticity.

HOW DO I DEAL WITH A HORRIBLE ROOMMATE I HATE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I hate my roommate so much that I don’t know what to do. We have 11 months left on the lease. I don’t many people around here so don’t know anyone I could switch with. Help!

—Desperate (United States)

DEAR D.:

Start out by looking at why exactly you hate your roommate. Is he/she messy? Inconsiderate? Loud? Really look at what’s going on and think about what is triggering you so much. Sometimes, too, we can even project things on someone without realizing it or sometimes we think we are annoyed by something but the real reason you are annoyed may not even be about that—you might be getting triggered from something from your childhood, for example.

Next, try to see the big picture and really get neutral about your roommate and the whole situation.

Once you are neutral, if you still want to move, start looking for alternatives while trying to switch roommates. If there’s a housing board or committee or landlord, see what kind of possibilities you have. Then, I would have a neutral talk with your roommate and try to create closure with both of you treating each other with respect and compassion. Even if your roommate does not treat you with respect and compassion, at least you will know that you did your best.

Next time, arrange to really get to know your roommate before you sign a lease together. It’s important to feel safe and have a positive living environment, including regarding whom you live with.

Good luck, my friend.

SUNDAY SHARE: RODRIGO Y GABRIELA

WHY DON’T I GET INVITED TO PARTIES?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do I always get excluded from parties? I feel like I’m a pretty decent person and I even shower regularly but somehow….

—Feeling Left Out (England)

DEAR F.L.O.:

There are many reasons one might get excluded from parties, including reasons that have nothing to do with your worth as a person.

Perhaps you could start by throwing a party of your own and invite all the people you like and would like to get to know better. Who knows, maybe some of these people might even want to reciprocate the next time they have a party. At the very least, you can have a very nice time at your party!

Spread the love, my friend!

WHY CAN’T PEOPLE JUST GET ALONG?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why can’t people just get along? It seems like in every group, from the deacon’s group at church to the PTA to the government, everyone is constantly fighting. How do we change this?

—Tired of the Squabbling (United States)

DEAR T.O.T.S.:

It helps when we all focus together on the ultimate goal—whether a healthy church that helps the community and its members; the parents and teachers working together to provide a good education and a safe and nurturing environment for the students; or a strong government that truly helps the people. Sometimes it is very human to get stuck in the ego or get caught in power struggles or wanting to be right or respected or elevated and we can lose sight of what the true mission of a group is. The more we focus on the mission of any group and on working together towards that mission, the less we will get caught in energy-draining traps of fighting against other members who ideally want to work towards the same goal and the more positive goals we will accomplish.

Lead the way by example, my friend!

HOW DO I HANDLE THE STRESS AND UNCERTAINTY IN THE UNITED STATES?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

With all the big changes going on in the world and in the United States, what is the best way to handle all the stress and uncertainty?

—Stressed Out (U.S.A.)

DEAR S.O.:

Take especially good care of yourself and make sure that you are eating healthy foods and getting enough rest and exercise. You might also want to limit how much you read or watch the news, particularly in the evenings too close before bedtime.

If you’re particularly passionate about a cause like the environment or making sure all have access to food or healthcare, perhaps you could find a worthy organization and volunteer. That way, you’re using your energy towards contributing to making the world a better place rather than using your energy to worry about all the negative things that are happening.

Take care of yourself, my friend.

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