WHY DO I SEE STUFF WHEN I PICK UP AN OBJECT?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Sometimes, when I pick up an object, I see flashes of pictures of people. Or excerpts like from a movie. What is happening?

–Nutters (England)

DEAR N.:

Perhaps you have the gift of psychometry, a type of psychic ability where you can pick up energies held in or related to an object. So maybe you get flashes of people that owned or touched that object. Play with it and see what happens! You can practice by having different people hand you a bunch of objects. Try to make it a blind test. For example, maybe you could ask a friend to collect one object from different people that you’ve never met and see if you can get any hits. Write down or record all of your perceptions or feelings and then ask for feedback from the person who lent you the object. Don’t be discouraged if you’re not right all the time. Psychometry, like any gift, can be developed and honed over time.

 

WHY DO MY RELATIONSHIPS NEVER LAST?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have been on so many dates—women I’ve met online, through friends, at the grocery store, whatever. It always goes only so far—maybe a few dates, maybe two months at the most, but they all disappear suddenly, often without any explanation. How do I figure out what went wrong? I pay for the coffee, the lunch, the dinner, whatever. I act like a gentleman. Is it something wrong with me? How do I find out why nothing ever lasts?

–Throwing in the Towel (United States)

DEAR THROWING:

Please don’t throw in the towel just yet, my friend. It sounds like you’re a good guy and, believe me, I’m sure there are many women out there looking for a guy like you.

Sometimes people (especially women, because sometimes they’re trained culturally to avoid confrontation or anything that could be unpleasant) may just get a sense it’s not a good match for them and would rather disappear or fade quietly into the background rather than speak up, which makes it hard for the other person who might be left wondering what went wrong.

Don’t take it personally. Meeting the “right” person takes time and experimentation. Sometimes I think it even just boils down to pheromones. Pheromones and karmic agreements. Because your pheromones don’t match someone’s else’s biological coding, that doesn’t mean there’s necessarily anything wrong with you. It’s just not a good match for whatever reason. Likewise, maybe a person mocked up having a relationship where they could learn certain types of lessons and you’re not the best match for each other that way, although of course that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with either of you.

By all means, ask for some feedback from your female friends and see if they have any pointers for you but ultimately do whatever feels right to you. And maybe experiment against type. If you’ve always gone for a certain type of women, try hanging out and going out on a date with another type of women and see if anything clicks.

Keep heart, my friend. Someone’s looking for you.

 

IS THERE AN ENERGETIC COMPONENT TO MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have MS (multiple sclerosis). Is there an energetic component to multiple sclerosis I should be aware of?

–Wanting to Heal Myself (Brazil)

DEAR WANTING TO HEAL:

All diseases related to the immune system bring with them lessons on the importance of honoring and loving yourself. Perhaps you could practice doing things to honor and love yourself. Notice where you consistently put others’ needs before your own; for example, taking on volunteer work or helping out a friend (in a non-emergency situation) when you are already exhausted or feel like you’re fighting a cold. Start a new habit of consciously attending to your needs and treating your body and yourself as well as you would your child or your best friend.

Your determination to heal yourself and to look at the energy of MS is a wonderful step on your path to more optimal health. Congratulations.

 

HOW DO I DEAL WITH A STALKING EX?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My ex-boyfriend has been stalking me for years. I tried to be nice and I have been very clear. Now I am dating someone new. How do I handle all of this? I am afraid my stalker will scare my new boyfriend away. My ex isn’t dangerous but I feel I should warn my boyfriend all the same.

–Stalked (United States)

DEAR STALKED:

Keep logs of all contact and stalking attempts and emails and texts–all of it, complete with dates and documentation. Also make sure (if you haven’t already) to unfriend him on Facebook or block his number and emails. Also file a police report immediately and get a restraining order. Don’t assume your ex isn’t dangerous. If he has been stalking you for years, he obviously does not have healthy/sane boundaries and you never know how the new boyfriend factor might inflame him. It is important to let your current boyfriend know about the situation and give him a photo of your ex so he knows what he looks like and whom to watch out for. If he gets scared off, he’s not the one anyway. If he’s the right person for you, he’ll stick around.

Don’t worry about being nice. The time for niceness is over. You may have compassion for him, but don’t worry about hurting his feelings or being hated by him. You need to make your safety (and your boyfriend’s) a priority.

 

HOW DO I STOP THINKING ABOUT AN OLD LOVE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I can’t stop thinking about a man I dated (only briefly years ago). How do I stop this unhealthy behavior?

–Heartbroken (Brazil)

DEAR HEARTBROKEN:

It’s great that you recognize continuing to think about this man is not healthy for you. Validate the time you had together and let that be enough as the gift it was. Give thanks for the experiences you had together and for what you each learned from each other, then make room for someone new to come into your life.

If you want, I also encourage you to get rid of any old photos of him or momentos of your time together to make room for new romance and love.

Maybe you could even join some singles clubs or host a singles party or something and get the word out to your friends you’re ready to meet someone new in case they know someone you might hit it off with. Whether you hit it off romantically or not, it can be a lot of fun to make new friends and meet new people.

 

SUNDAY SHARE: MARCEL THE SHELL PART III

Every Sunday is share something cool I’ve come across.

My friend Danielle alerted me that there is now a Part III of Marcel the Shell! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYZLy5uC5uc Enjoy!

 

 

WHY DO SOME ENVIRONMENTALISTS AND ANIMAL-RIGHTS ADVOCATES HAVE THE WORST PEOPLE SKILLS EVER?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do some environmentalists and animal-rights advocates have the worst people skills ever?

–Just Wondering (United States)

DEAR JUST WONDERING:

Well, I know many environmentalists and animal-rights folk who are just delightful but let me say this…sometimes it’s a lot easier to allow yourself to care about the earth or for animals because they tend not be easier to get along with than people.

If you want, just validate that we’re all one and the same and thank these light warriors as spirit for doing the good work they’re doing even if they can be a little rough around the edges. The ability to speak strongly and forcefully and to get their opinions heard might even require some in-your-face people skills once in a while. Validate that their hearts are probably in the right place and that they’re putting their energy to great causes.

 

IS IT SAFE TO PLAY WITH OUJA BOARDS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Do you think it is safe to play with ouja boards?

–Scared (Canada)

DEAR SCARED:

I would probably not recommend playing with ouja boards. I have known some very strange things to happen to people who were using them, including accidentally bringing in negative energies because they didn’t know how to hold the energetic space.

If you absolutely feel the need to contact a spirit (for example, someone who has passed on like a mother or a grandmother), I would recommend you go to see a trustworthy medium such as Rosemerry the Celtic Lady or John Edward or James Van Praagh. They have been doing the work a long time and have more practice and awareness about the energies they are communicating with, as well as how to keep their energy clean and safe while communicating with various spirits.

 

IS IT WEIRD TO INVITE DINERS YOU DON’T KNOW TO JOIN YOUR TABLE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Is it weird when sitting alone at a restaurant to invite other solo diners to join you? Not as a romantic overture, but just to sit with someone during a meal. What do you think?

–Curious (United States)

DEAR CURIOUS:

I don’t think it’s weird but you might just want to pay attention to whether the person you’re asking seems like they want to be alone or not. You can always offer to let them join you, especially if the restaurant is full and someone would have to wait for a table, and don’t take it personally if they say no. Sometimes people just want to chill out and be by themselves while they’re eating.

If you’re a man, be aware, too, that sometimes people might be wary you’re making a romantic overture even when you’re not.

If you like eating with others, you might want to check out those restaurants that are becoming more and more popular where they have a communal table (or tables) with a bunch of seats and people can just sit down. Or you can try to sit at a sushi bar or a diner counter or something where there are just a bunch of stools and you can start up a conversation with the person next to you if they seem open to it.

Have fun eating and meeting people.

 

WHAT DO I GET A MOTHER-IN-LAW THAT NEVER LIKES ANYTHING?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am dreading Christmas. Every year, I try to find just exactly what my mother-in-law will like but there is always something wrong with it and she either returns it, exchanges it, or simply looks disappointed or dissatisfied.

–At Wits’ End

DEAR WITS:

Some people will simply not be happy with any gift you give them and it probably has nothing to do with the gift itself. Sometimes, when people are not happy in themselves, they look to external things (gifts, external validation, attention, whatever) to make them happy and they will inevitably fall short, even if the recipient derives some momentary happiness from the object.

Perhaps you could simply find a wonderful photo of your husband (current or a past photo with him and his mom) and put it in a beautiful frame. It is the thought and the love in the present that matters most, after all. And if you’re Christian, celebrating the birth of Christ! She’ll probably like it. Even if she doesn’t like the gift, know you did your best and gave an awesome present and let her have whatever reaction she has and pat yourself on the back.

 

WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME AND MY COMPULSIONS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Whenever I have to leave the house, I wonder if I locked the door and I have to go back and check. Or sometimes it’s the stove. Or sometimes I wonder if the house will catch on fire and my cats will be stuck in the house.

–What’s Wrong with Me? (United States)

DEAR WHAT’S WRONG?:

This is actually fairly common. You might want to consult your doctor, though, and see if you might have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) or something else. Perhaps you could meditate, too.

Also notice if you feel like certain areas of your life are out of control (work, relationship, health, etc.) and notice if you are trying to compensate and gain control in your life by keeping on top of other things like the door being locked.

Take this opportunity to take healthy steps to have control in areas you can control. For example, if you are worried about money, set up a budget and a plan to build up your finances. Congratulations on these changes you’re making.

 

WHY CAN’T I LET MY OLD HOBBY GO?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I’ve been collecting stamps for years. I used to love it but now it feels like a chore but I can’t seem to stop. What is causing this and why can’t I let this hobby go?

–Stumped (not Stamped) (United States)

DEAR STUMPED:

Maybe you’ve just outgrown that hobby. If you no longer love it, maybe you could put it aside for a while. Later on, you can either sell it, give it away to someone who will surely love it and keep growing it, donate it, or take it up again if the fun of collecting them returns. If it feels like an obligation to keep it going, either reset the energy for your own fun or give it a break and give yourself permission to take up a new hobby.

Another reason it might be hard to give up is if you are using it to ground yourself, to perhaps release some nervous energy, in which you might want to do some other grounding things like hiking or gardening or whatever else is enjoyable to you.

Perhaps it feels a little scary to let this old hobby go because it’s become so familiar and perhaps even a part of your identity. This is an exciting time to see what other things you enjoy. Have fun!

 

TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE: PAUL POTTS ON BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT

TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE

Check out Paul Potts’ audition on Britain’s Got Talent: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wtjs0L5Gxlc. A movie is coming out about his life about becoming an opera singer, called One Chance.

 

WHAT IS CAUSING MY APATHY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Lately I’ve been feeling very apathetic. I can’t get anything done—housework, or much else. I am not as productive at work lately. I’m not particularly tired. I just don’t feel like doing anything. What could be causing this?

–Slacker (Untied States)

DEAR S.:

Sometimes when our energy is shifting, it can sometimes feel like everything is stagnant and the energy is not moving. Examples of when energy is shifting include when we’re going to make a career change or some other kind of major life change.

Also, apathy is actually a form of energetic resistance. Just let yourself be apathetic for a while and see if the energy shifts more quickly when you give it space to be.

Also, I encourage you to let yourself imagine what really makes you excited. A new hobby, a class to take, travelling to a place you’ve always wanted to go, or whatever really gets your juices flowing. And give yourself permission to explore this new thing, whatever it is.

NOTE TO READERS: I invite you to send your own questions in, either via the comments section or to askdalimama@gmail.com. Also, I might be taking days off now and then the rest of the year as I finish up some projects in the works. Sorry the blog has been a bit sporadic lately.

 

HOW DO YOU HANDLE PEOPLE WHO KEEP TRYING TO FEED YOU WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do you handle people who keep trying to feed you when you’re trying to lose weight? I am on a very restricted diet for health reasons, but my family and friends keep trying to practically force-feed me—unhealthy stuff, too, like desserts, pasta, and things generally swimming in gravy and fat.

–Fatty (United States)

DEAR F.:

You need to train them to respect your new eating habits. Don’t go into resistance to them trying to feed you (as most of them are probably doing it out of love). Just politely keep saying, “Thank you but I have had enough.” When they pile food on your plate despite your protests, just leave the food on the plate, untouched. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

 

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