SUNDAY SHARE: FABLE (POSTED BY DEREK SIVERS)

10 Dec 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Sunday's Share, Uncategorized Tags: , ,

https://sivers.org/horses

(I copied and pasted part below in case you can’t access it directly but his link is also available above.)

Derek Sivers

:

My favorite fable (塞翁失马)

2009-02-28

A farmer had only one horse. One day, his horse ran away.

His neighbors said, “I’m so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

A few days later, his horse came back with twenty wild horses following. The man and his son corralled all 21 horses.

His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

One of the wild horses kicked the man’s only son, breaking both his legs.

His neighbors said, “I’m so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset.”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

The country went to war, and every able-bodied young man was drafted to fight. The war was terrible and killed every young man, but the farmer’s son was spared, since his broken legs prevented him from being drafted.

His neighbors said, “Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!”

The man just said, “We’ll see.”

I wrote a song with this story, too.

IS IT BETTER FOR MY DOG TO GIVE HIM TO SOMEONE WHO CAN WALK HIM MORE?

09 Dec 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Animals, Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have a dog and I love him dearly. I consider him family and he has been with me many years—since he was 8 weeks old. However, I have a problem which I won’t go into which makes it harder and harder for me to walk him enough these days. I do as much as I can but I know it’s not enough and I feel guilty.

I think he’s depressed and it makes me worried and sad to see him sad. I want to do what’s best for my dog, despite my wanting to keep him till the end. Do you think it’s cruel of me to keep him? Would it be better to find him a new loving owner who would see to this need better? I know he would initially not like this solution, but would get used to it with time.

—Unsure (S.Africa)

 

DEAR U.:

Your dog is very lucky to have someone who puts his needs ahead of your own desires. Is there any way you could hire someone to walk him or do some kind of barter or trade with someone for walking services? If so, that would probably do both of you of you a world of good. If not, is there a neighbor or a friend who would walk him, at least occasionally? If enough people could walk him once or twice a week, you might be able to have his walking needs covered. You could maybe also post some flyers requesting volunteers at your local humane society if you cannot afford to hire someone.

You might also want to do some Internet research for your area—sometimes there are organizations or individuals who would love to go walking with a dog that aren’t able to commit full-time to a dog. Perhaps you could work something out with them.

I would first consider every other alternative because being with you is probably your dog’s top priority.

Best of luck, my friend.

HOW DO I MAKE FRIENDS IN A NEW PLACE?

08 Dec 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Love & Relationships, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I moved with my husband to a different country three years ago but I still don’t really have any friends here. I am shy and it is hard for me to meet people. Sometimes people have parties but they don’t invite me. How do I make friends?

—Lonely in a New Country (Hong Kong)

DEAR L.I.A.N.C.:

You may be lonely right now but I guarantee that you are not alone in feeling lonely and feeling like it is hard to meet people.

Perhaps you could look on Meetup.com to see if there are any local groups you’re interested in. They have all different topics—film, hiking, dancing, writing, international societies, and much more. Many cities also have local clubs that are listed in the paper. You could also perhaps reach out to the wives of your husband’s friends and extend a friendly hand.

If people have parties but don’t invite you, how about hosting a party yourself? It’s a great way to show your interest in developing friendships with people and you’d probably make someone’s day who is also feeling a little lonely and isolated.

HOW DO I NOT DREAD A FUTURE I DON’T WANT?

07 Dec 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am a bit of a worrier and can get paranoid. I build and draw up worst-case scenarios in my head and over time they start to feel real. Then I live in partial dread of a future I don’t want.

Any advice you could please give?

—In My Head (Turkey)

DEAR I.M.H.:

This is something that happens to the best of us. Haha.

The facts that the worst-case scenarios start to feel real is indicative that you’re probably a very creative person. How about you use your awesome creative powers to draw up best-case scenarios over and over until they start to feel real and see what happens.

Much love.

HOW CAN YOU DETERMINE THE RIGHT WAY TO TREAT YOUR MONEY?

06 Dec 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Money, Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do you determine if the way you treat your money is right? I mean, how can I judge or neutrally observe my relationship to both spending and saving my money?

I have always lived a sheltered life and only have a strict family to compare myself to as regards money. My family is frugal which funnily pushes me in the opposite direction and I overspend and don’t give a fig, even when I perhaps should.

—Curious (Canada)

 

DEAR CURIOUS:

Thanks for your awareness on your spending habits. Often when we resist something (like our family pushing us to be frugal), we can go in the opposite direction, even when it’s not in our best interest.

Perhaps you could try making a list of your top 10 priorities—health, education, career, etc. And just for a month, write down every single amount you spend and what you spent it on. Notice then whether your spending reflects your true priorities and you can choose to make adjustments accordingly.

Notice, too, as you are thinking of spending money—in what energy are you spending it? For example, are you wanting to buy something out of a feeling of wanting to self-soothe to make yourself feel better for a moment? Or are you wanting to spend money out of a feeling of lack—like you’ll miss out and never have the chance for something again if you don’t buy that thing now? Or are you making the decision to buy something from a space of awareness and empowerment where you know you have the money and choose to buy something because you know it will add to your life’s mission and priorities.

Have fun exploring this! Thanks for being curious!

WHAT’S GOING ON WITH MY FOOD HABITS?

05 Dec 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Health, Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I love going out and eating delicious food. About 2-3 times a week and usually on my own. It’s burning a hole in my pocket and I’m gaining weight. Do you think I’m substituting food for something? Is my behaviour normal? I feel guilty for wasting money like this.
–Food Mad (S.Ireland)
DEAR F.M.:
You most likely are substituting food for something. This pattern is very common, but not a terribly healthy one. Notice if you eat more when you’re stressed. Notice if you’re eating to soothe yourself and to try not to feel the stress as much. Notice too if there are other things you’re wanting that you don’t have that make you reach for more food. For example, you might be craving love and companionship, or even just sex.
Instead of focusing on spending less on going out, focus on using more of your money to invest in things that support your well-being–your health, your dreams, a gym membership, etc. And use your money towards something that will support your happiness long-term beyond the enjoyment of a restaurant meal.
Congratulations on looking at this issue. I applaud your awareness and consciousness.

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