WHY DO SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO HAVE BETTER LUCK WITH MONEY THAN OTHERS?

(DEAR FRIENDS, PLEASE PARDON MY LONG ABSENCE. I WAS OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND UNABLE TO ACCESS THE SECURITY CODES ON MY PHONE THAT I NEEDED IN ORDER TO POST.)

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do some people seem to have much better luck with money than others?

—Curious (Brazil)

DEAR CURIOUS:

Sometimes people that have a strong sense of their own self-worth and a strong sense of havingness (capacity to receive and have certain things) tend to attract money and opportunities to have and to make money.

Sometimes, too, it may seem like people have better luck with money than others but they have developed smart ways to manage their money, whether through study or from growing up around people with healthy money habits.

In some cases, people were born into a certain lifetime with the mockup to have a lot of money for various reasons, including so they can help others financially.

There are many reasons but the best thing we can do is to work hard, educate ourselves financially, and make smart decisions based on what we learn while developing the energies that support our wealth (strong self-esteem and self-worth, for example).

WHAT KIND OF EXERCISE DO YOU LOVE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

What kind of exercise do you love for yourself?

—Just Curious

DEAR JUST CURIOUS:

Oh, thank you for this very easy-to-answer question. I love zumba and Pure Barre (especially at the studio in Broomfield, Colorado, http://purebarre.com/co-broomfield) and yoga and I also love to go hiking with my friends. I also love snorkeling although I have not gotten to do it all that often. Oh, and of course sex, which is great cardio, great glute and other exercise, and just plain fun. Haha.

WHY DO I LOVE SOME PEOPLE INSTANTLY AND NOT LOVE SOME PEOPLE INSTANTLY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do I love some people instantly and not love some people instantly?

—Wanting to Love Everyone (United States)

DEAR W.T.L.E.:

That’s a complicated question with many factors but I’ll give you a very simple answer.

Sometimes our reactions to certain people are related to past lives we’ve had—knowing them in a past life can make up sometimes instantly be drawn to someone or to instantly wince upon meeting them for the first time in this lifetime. And sometimes be instantly drawn to someone only later to deplore them—that can also be related to past lives.

Sometimes, too, we may want to avoid people because they are reflecting back to us stuff we haven’t dealt with within ourselves. For example, if someone tends to be very controlling, we may resist them if we ourselves are controlling or are not neutral to control energy.

In the end, I believe we’re all come from love and we are all made of love. Sometimes it just takes longer to remember that. : )

IF A PSYCHIC SAYS SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN AND IT DOESN’T, IS THAT PERSON NOT A GOOD PSYCHIC?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My psychic told me something would happen a certain way but it didn’t. Does that mean he’s not a good psyschic?

—Wondering (Brazil)

DEAR WONDERING:

That doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s not a good psychic. It’s just indicative of how energies can shift according to the choices that you and others make. For example, a psychic can tell you that you can be an Olympic athlete. Maybe that person sees you have the capability. However, if all you do is eat pizza and refuse to get off the couch, you are unlikely to become an Olympic athlete.

Then again, if he is consistently way off base, he’s probably not a good psychic. Haha.

Ultimately, no one can predict the future because every choice we make can change the future. The best thing to do is decide what you want to create, make a plan on how to do so, and then do it!i

HOW DO I HANDLE ALWAYS WORKING WITH SOMEONE I CAN’T STAND WORKING WITH?

 

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I always get stuck with one person I can’t stand working with in my team at my warehouse job. How do I handle this?

—Stuck (Canada)

DEAR S.:

What is it about this person that makes you not want to work with him/her? Have you addressed the issue with the person in a constructive manner? If so, and there is never any change, notice what you have in common with that person. Sometimes, people drive us crazy because we have similar qualities or energies within us that drive ourselves crazy, or simply resistance to those particular habits or energies. Once you are aware of your matches with that person and become neutral to them, notice if you still can’t stand working with that person.

At that point, if you still don’t want to work with that person, take proactive measures such as requesting a team member that has a parallel title or skills with that person you don’t want to work with and request that other team member for your team.

HOW DO I FOSTER TEAMWORK AND LESS COMPETITIVENESS AMONGST MY KIDS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My three kids are all in sports at school and are so competitive, even at video games or board games. It’s almost scary. How do I foster more teamwork and less competitiveness among them?

—Mother of the Lords of the Flies

DEAR MOTHER:

Thank you for this question.

You might want to encourage them to play games that require teamwork instead of game that pit each other against one another. I don’t know how old your kids are so maybe you could google “noncompetitive board games” and see what comes up that is appropriate for your children’s ages and needs. There are also a couple sites, https://cooperativegames.com/ and http://www.lifescript.com/well-being/articles/t/tools_for_building_teamwork_at_home.aspx, that you might want to check out.

You (and your spouse/partner) might also want to play with noncompetitive language and language that isn’t goal oriented. For example, instead of “You are the best goalie ever,” you could say something like, “You really paid attention to all the balls coming in.”

Warm wishes to you! Your kids are lucky.

HOW CAN I GET PROMOTED?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do people always want me to be their assistant instead of promoting me or giving me higher-level jobs?

—Stunted in My Career (United States)

DEAR S.I.M.C.:

Haha. Well, there are a number of possible reasons for this. One possibility might be that you are too phenomenal at your job and your bosses have the smarts to recognize this and are unwilling to let you move into another position. Put together a list of your qualifications and a list of what you’ve done for the company as well as reasons you’d be ideal for other positions, then have a talk with your supervisor. Let him/her know that you are excited about using your skills in an expanded arena, and ask about what you need to do to secure a position you’d like (and have some specific open positions in mind).

If your supervisor is not open to the idea of you being promoted to another position, ask what their reservations are as far as you moving into another position. If they really need you to keep doing one particular aspect of your current job, perhaps you could negotiate to keep doing that specific part of your job for them while undertaking a new position. There are many ways to make it a win-win situation for everyone. Have fun exploring!

IS BAD TEMPER INHERITED?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Is a bad temper inherited?

—Hair Triggered and Don’t Like It (United States)

DEAR H.T.A.D.L.I.:

While someone aspects of one’s temperament may be inherited, other factors may play a much bigger factor in the expression of one’s anger. For example, if you grew up seeing one or both parents losing it on a regular basis, you may have some learned behavior about how to cope with and release strong emotions. An added factor may be that you never learned healthy mechanisms for dealing with your own anger in general situations if you were afraid to express certain feelings around your parents as it would have triggered more negative attention from them. In such cases, you may tend to bottle up your feelings and have them explode on you and the people are you at the slightest provocation.

In any case, I urge you to see a counselor regularly or a while to learn anger-management techniques and to learn how to process your emotions. It’s hard work but will be well worth in the end for both you and the people around you.

Congratulations on your courage to look at this.

HOW DO I GET THE DOGS OUT OF OUR BED?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I love my wife and love our dogs of which there are many but they are crowding us out of our bed and always sleep in between us, which I am not crazy about. How do I reclaim our bed without upsetting my wife?

—Sleeping with the Dogs (United States)

DEAR S.W.T.D.:

I understand your situation all too well. Haha.

Have you considered putting dog beds on the floor of your bedroom? I have even seen some people make doggie bunk beds for the doggie family members, depending on how many dogs they have.

Let your wife know you want to be snuggling with her at night, not the dogs, even though you love them too! You might have to train the dogs at first to go to their beds since they are used to sleeping with the two of you, but if you are firm and consistent, they should eventually happily adopt to their new sleeping arrangements over time if they are still in the same room with you.

HOW DO I GET SOMEONE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do I get someone to fall in love with me?

—Ready for Love (United States)

DEAR READY FOR LOVE:

I’m going to assume you mean generally and not someone in particular. Let me know if I did not understand your question correctly.

First question: Do you go out of your home where people can meet you? That is very important. I know many people who would like to someone but they are never anywhere (even online) where someone can meet them. You might want to consider going out to places where you can meet people with common interests, whether there is a meetup in film, for example, or a hiking meetup. You can also check your local newspaper classified ads for lectures or meetings on topics of interest. If you are religious or spiritual, go to your local church or synagogue or mosque where you can meet people who might hopefully have values similar to yours.

Also consider the fact that you might want to think about loving people (whether that’s your community or family or specific individuals you are interested in) rather than worrying about getting love. Sometimes we can worry so much about getting love that we forget to love. Haha.

Sending you love!

HOW CAN A GUY TELL IF OTHER GUYS ARE CHECKING YOU OUT?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How can you tell if a guy is checking you out? I’m a guy but I feel like sometimes guys are looking at me.

—Creeped Out (United States)

DEAR C.O.:

Well, guys might be checking you out, just as guys check us women out. They may be sometimes but that is nothing to get disturbed about. Notice what you are getting disturbed about. Are you feeling objectified, as we women and people in general often are? Are you creeped out because somehow you are afraid of your reaction to being checked out? That might be something to notice for yourself.

In any case, if you don’t want to be checked out by other guys, just don’t give it any energy or resistance and that energy will just go right through you or slide off of you. If you keep resisting it, you might notice it starts to happen even more. You can’t stop people from checking you out but you have the power to decide how you respond to it and how you let it affect you.

ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Once a cheater, always a cheater?

—? (United States)

DEAR ?:

Sometimes but not always. If someone cheated once or a long time ago, but has been faithful since then, perhaps they will never cheat again. If, however, someone has a long history of being a serial cheater, they are very likely to cheat unless they’ve done a lot of inner work as to the cause of their cheating behavior.

Trust your gut. If you feel that they will likely cheat again and this feeling is not borne out of your own fear or distrust, perhaps it is better to let them go and be with someone you can trust completely.

Wishing you the best.

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