CAN GIFTS OR OBJECTS HOLD ENERGY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My office manager who hates me gave each of us a holiday gift, including me. The gifts are all the same except for the color. I feel very yucky energy on the leather portfolio she gave me. Is this possible? And what do I do about it?

–Sensitive Office Drone (United States)

DEAR SENSITIVE:

Yes, it is possible for objects to carry negative energies, including resentment, especially when they are gifts given out of obligation and not love.

Sometimes even a recipient who wants to give you something out of love can inadvertently give you something with challenging energies. For example, someone who loves you may search far and wide for that “perfect” gift, and may give you a gift full of love, perfectionism (worry that is it not the perfect gift), insecurity, fear (fear that you won’t like the gift), and other energies.

You can neutralize the energies you don’t want to keep by simply receiving the gift in love despite any difficult energies that came with the gift.

You might also want to imagine putting a grounding cord on the leather portfolio, releasing any resentment and ill will (on either side of the relationship) and any other energies that no longer serve you or the relationship. Then, intend to set the energy of the portfolio to support and delight you and to help you in your career. At this point, you can meditate and see how you feel and decide whether you want to keep the portfolio or get rid of it.

If you do get rid of it, just donate it to your favorite nonprofit with love and good wishes for the perfect person who can enjoy a wonderful new leather portfolio.

TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE: COLORS OF INFINITY DOCUMENTARY

TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE

Every Sunday I share something cool I’ve come across.

Watch Arthur C. Clarke’s documentary, Colors of Infinity. Fascinating stuff on fractals, the Mandelbrot set, and more.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=colors+of+infinity

IS IT OKAY TO DONATE PRESENTS YOU JUST RECEIVED THAT YOU DON’T WANT OR NEED?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Is it okay to donate presents you just received that you don’t really want or need? My family gave us tons of presents but none of them really suit are tastes or needs or space in our apartment, for that matter. My wife wants to donate them all but I feel like we should hang onto them, at least for a little while. What do you think?

–Torn (Canada)

DEAR TORN:

If you really don’t want to use them or can’t use the presents, I suggest donating them to your favorite nonprofit organization or place of worship and letting those gifts that were given to you in love be free to go out into the world and spread the love and benefit those who absolutely need them. Of course, if it’s a unique handmade item, hopefully your Aunt Martha will not recognize the hand-knitted beret your she made. But if you live in a small town and they see that item on someone else, you can lovingly and truthfully explain you just didn’t have the space/it didn’t fit/you don’t really wear hats, etc., and explain that you didn’t know what to do because you wanted to keep it for a while because the gift was given in love but that you ultimately decided that the best way you could honor that gift was to share it now with someone in need.

Keeping something you cannot or will not use ultimately does you no good nor does it do any good for the kind person who gave you the gift.

HOW DOES AN INTROVERT HANDLE BEING WITH A BUNCH OF EXTROVERTS FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am visiting my husband’s very large extroverted family for a whole week from Christmas to New Year for the first time. I’m very introverted and sometimes feel exhausted being with people constantly and am nervous about how to handle this. Do you have any suggestions?

–INTROVERT (BRAZIL)

DEAR INTROVERT:

First of all, congratulations on being aware of what you’re comfortable with and how much you can handle. That is the most important step in dealing with a lot of people over an extended period of time as an introvert.

Give yourself complete permission to take time for yourself on your own. Go for a walk, go do an errand, hang out at the library, take a nap, or (if you want), go to the kitchen and do some dishes while everyone else is watching a game or television or playing a game. Do what you want when you need to and do so without apology.

Because your husband’s family is extroverted, they might not understand your need for space or might be worried for you that you’re alone, but if you are having fun and keep reassuring them, you will train them to understand you truly are happy doing your own thing and hiding away on your own every once in a while. And it’s good you’re setting the tone now during your first Christmas together since hopefully you will have many more to come.

Also, create an energy bubble around you, giving yourself as much space as you need. You may also want to imagine energetic boundary roses around all sides of you, allowing the energetic roses to absorb anyone else’s energy and as a reminder for yourself to have your own energy for you.

Wishing you a peaceful holiday.

WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST DOING AT THE END OF A YEAR/BEGINNING OF A NEW YEAR?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Is there anything you suggest to do at the end of a year or beginning of a new year?

–PREPARING TO RING IN THE NEW (UNITED STATES)

DEAR PREPARING:

I like to do a few things to say goodbye to a year and bring in a new one.

  • I think about the wonderful things that happened during the past year and also reflect on any lessons I’ve learned and how I can make the most of what I learned moving forward. I also give thanks for the past year as well as for everything else that I’ve experienced.
  • I get rid of anything I no longer need. For example, tax papers I kept for the prescribed three years that I can no shred; manuals for appliances that broke or that I no longer own; clothes that I haven’t worn for the last year or anything else I own that I haven’t used for a year; or tokens and gifts from old beaux.
  • I envision what I’d like to create during the next year and write everything down as a first step to my intentions concrete.

Play with this and see what you come up with. Have fun and happy new year. May this next year bring you all many blessings.

TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE: “THE POINT”

Every Sunday I share something cool I’ve come across.

Check out the full version of “The Point:” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Xl50qKVkqE.

HOW DO I MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION ON MY BOYFRIEND’S PARENTS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am meeting my boyfriend’s parents for the first time for Hanukah. He wants them to meet me before he proposes and I am very nervous. How do I make a good impression on them?

–Nervous (United States)

DEAR NERVOUS:

First, keep in mind that his parents might be just as nervous as you are.

Second, be yourself. Be confident in yourself and think more about the wonderful opportunity to get to know the people that created and raised your boyfriend and enjoy each moment. If you get nervous or feel awkward, reset your time to fun and exploration and hopefully the fun and exploratory mood will be contagious. But no matter how anyone else is feeling, you will be able to have fun and learn interesting things!

Enjoy!

WHAT DO I GIVE TO MY SISTER-IN-LAW WHO ALWAYS GIVES ME CHEAP OR AWFUL PRESENTS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My sister-in-law always gives everyone else these hugely expensive and elaborate presents and always gives me something insultingly cheap and/or ugly. For years, I always gave her nice presents but I am thinking that I am just going to either get her something cheap like she gets me or nothing at all. Your advice?

–Scrooged (United States)

DEAR SCROOGED:

If you can’t give her anything with love, maybe it’s best to just give her a card. You might also want to consider giving her a present from an organization such as Heifer International (see http://www.heifer.org/gift-catalog/index.html). Through Heifer, you can buy, for example, a share of a sheep so that a family can use the wool to make products to sell or clothe themselves.

Another great organization is www.kiva.org, through which you can make a micro-loan of $25 (or more) in her name, or let her choose which person or cause to support with her micro-loan. Once the loan is repaid, it can be loaned to the next person to keep the cycle of positive good going strong.

Otherwise, if she has a pet cause or nonprofit, you can make a donation in her name, spreading the love that way. In this way, you can give with love even when it’s difficult to muster up love for someone that is not always kind or generous with you.

HOW DO I STOP MY MAN’S DRINKING?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am dating an amazing man but he drinks too much. He says he’ll stop and he’ll stop for a while but then go right back to drinking. How do I stop his drinking? I love him but I cannot live with this.

–Desperate (Norway)

DEAR DESPERATE:

Unfortunately, you cannot stop his drinking. Only he can stop his drinking. And before he can stop, he has to want to stop. Check out Alcoholic Aonymous’s website (http://www.aa.org), which provides a lot of valuable information for alcoholics as well as the people that love them.

You do not specify exactly what you cannot live with. If alcohol makes him abusive, find a safe place and do not put yourself in any dangerous situations.

If he is not willing to take steps to get support to quit drinking, perhaps it is time to walk away.

CAN DEVELOPING YOUR PSYCHIC ABILITIES MAKE YOU GO MAD?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I’m very intuitive and I want to develop my psychic abilities more but I’m afraid of going mad. Is it possible to go mad after opening up to being more psychic? Or am I being paranoid?

–Cautious or Paranoid? (Brazil)

DEAR CAUTIOUS:

Developing one’s psychic abilities doesn’t necessarily make you go mad but it is important to learn how to manage and handle energies in a safe way. This includes learning how to clean your energy properly before and after doing a psychic reading or a healing.

Also, I urge you to really learn how to ground and to stay grounded before you delve into areas like channeling and other forms of mediumship. If you do not learn this in a grounded and aware and safe space, it can indeed be harmful.

It’s also important to be in sound mental health before really opening up one’s psychic space.

Have fun developing your abilities.

HOW DO I PREPARE MY CHILD FOR A YOUNGER SIBLING?

DEAR DALI MAMA: nov 15

How do I prepare my daughter (an only child) for a younger sibling? She is four and I am expecting in 5 months, God willing.

–Worried Mom (United States)

DEAR MOM:

It’s important to set the tone. If you are worried about talking to your daughter about a new sibling or worried about her reaction to the news, she will pick up on that energy and might think the addition to the family is something to fear. Feel the joy of the new addition to the family and she will likely share in the enthusiasm.

You might also want to institute some gradual changes so she doesn’t associate any “negative” changes with the new baby. For example, if you know you’re going to have to institute some changes your child might not like (like an earlier bedtime or your child needing to take on a new task like getting dressed on her own), then make those changes gradually a month or two before the baby comes so that she doesn’t associate the baby with having to make changes she might not like.

You might also want to talk to her about some of the exciting parts about being an older sister and what that might mean for her. You might also want to start a new ritual with your older child when you bring the baby home—even a special one-on-one time 5 or 10 minutes every day where you talk together or read a book or sing a song can be one new ritual you can create with your oldest child to remind them that they are special to you.

TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE: “THE LITTLE DRUMMER” (PENTATONIX)

Every Sunday I share something cool I love.

Please enjoy Pentatonix’s “Little Drummer Boy”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ_MGWio-vc.

DO YOU HAVE TO BE VEGETARIAN TO RAISE YOUR VIBRATION?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Do you have to be vegetarian to raise your vibration?

–Carnivore Trying to Quit

DEAR CARNIVORE TRYING TO QUIT:

Each individual’s body has unique needs at different times. Some people can do very well on a balanced vegetarian or vegan diet. Some people have a little bit of a harder time, particularly if they are allergic to many protein sources such as nuts or dairy or soy. There are some great protein powders (I love the chocolate Vega powder) for those who are trying to cut down on meat consumption but still have enough protein.

I think it’s also important when eating meat to do so consciously—not eating more than necessary, making meat choices that take environmental effects into consideration, and thanking the spirit of the animal who is sustaining you. Intent and consciousness are probably more important in raising your vibration than diet alone although I think that can include not eating more meat than your body truly needs.

If you want to become vegetarian, cut down your meat consumption gradually and educate yourself on how to eat a balanced vegetarian diet and keep checking in with your body to see what it needs. Have fun eating delicious vegetarian foods!

WHY CAN WOMEN MAKE SEXIST GENERALIZATIONS BUT MEN CAN’T?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why is it okay for women to rag on how much men suck but men cannot do the same without being called misogynistic? Aren’t women who generalize and call all men pigs just as sexist?

–Just Sayin’ (United States)

DEAR JUST SAYIN’:

I agree that it is just as sexist for women to make a general statement categorizing all men as pigs as it is for men to make a general statement characterizing women as being anything. But women’s sexist behavior does not legitimize men’s sexist behavior just as men’s sexist behavior does not legitimize women sexist behavior.

You sound like an intelligent fellow. Break the cycle!

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION ON WHITE LIES BETWEEN PARTNERS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have been dating someone for six months and I have caught him in a few lies. They’re not big lies but it makes me not trust or respect him. He says they are white lies and that all couples tell each other white lies to keep the peace but I consider them lies just the same. Your opinion?

–Waking up and Smelling the Coffee (United States)

DEAR WAKING UP:

The strongest relationships are based on truth. It’s possible to tell the truth tactfully and diplomatically while communicating what needs to be said.

You might want to check out a great book called Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks.

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