Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My wife of 11 years does not want to go on family vacations with my parents. We have three kids and my grandparents live in a different state. My parents are in their seventies and time is precious and I think we should all make the most of our time together as we both get just two weeks of vacation time per year. How can I make her want to come along?

—Fed Up (United States)

DEAR FED UP:

You don’t mention why your wife doesn’t want to go on the family vacations. Have you asked her and tried to communicate with each other and figure out what would work best for her and everyone else?

If she is simply exhausted and needs time to herself, maybe she could stay home this year and let your parents enjoy more time with the kids and you.

If she gets stressed or doesn’t get along with your parents, make a plan that would minimize the stress or that will give her time off on her own even if she decides to come along.

That being said, you can’t make her want to come along per se but you can look at what she needs and wants and see if there’s a way to make sure she gets it should she go along or, if not, give her some alone time and maybe she’ll be able to join you all wholeheartedly next time.

“Happy wife, happy life,” the saying goes. Sometimes we all just need a little down time so we’re able to show up 100% for the things we need to do.