Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am visiting my husband’s very large extroverted family for a whole week from Christmas to New Year for the first time. I’m very introverted and sometimes feel exhausted being with people constantly and am nervous about how to handle this. Do you have any suggestions?

–INTROVERT (BRAZIL)

DEAR INTROVERT:

First of all, congratulations on being aware of what you’re comfortable with and how much you can handle. That is the most important step in dealing with a lot of people over an extended period of time as an introvert.

Give yourself complete permission to take time for yourself on your own. Go for a walk, go do an errand, hang out at the library, take a nap, or (if you want), go to the kitchen and do some dishes while everyone else is watching a game or television or playing a game. Do what you want when you need to and do so without apology.

Because your husband’s family is extroverted, they might not understand your need for space or might be worried for you that you’re alone, but if you are having fun and keep reassuring them, you will train them to understand you truly are happy doing your own thing and hiding away on your own every once in a while. And it’s good you’re setting the tone now during your first Christmas together since hopefully you will have many more to come.

Also, create an energy bubble around you, giving yourself as much space as you need. You may also want to imagine energetic boundary roses around all sides of you, allowing the energetic roses to absorb anyone else’s energy and as a reminder for yourself to have your own energy for you.

Wishing you a peaceful holiday.