Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My wife almost never wants to have sex anymore and I am feeling very frustrated. We’ve only been married three years. What happens if it goes downhill from now? I don’t know if I can live like this the rest of my life.

–Worried (Taiwan)

DEAR WORRIED:

Start by having a conversation with your wife. Is she under stress lately? Is she on certain medications that might be affecting her libido? Sometimes hormone imbalances can affect sex drive as well.

Is there something that would put her more in the mood? Maybe having more help around the house, spending more quality alone time together outside of the bedroom, more foreplay (which begins truly way before either of you get in the bedroom), spicing things up by playing with new positions or toys, or something else?

Start by talking to each other about what’s going on and also having her talk to her doctor to see if there might be a medical reason for her decreased sex drive. Depending on what her doctor says, you both might want to see a relationship therapist as well.

If your marriage is otherwise solid, I hope you will both do what it takes to get this aspect of your marriage back on a happy track. Most of all, remind her that you love her.

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