CAN I ASK MY BUDDY NOT TO BRING HIS GIRLFRIEND WHEN HE COMES TO HANG OUT?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

One of my buddies has a girlfriend who is a total witch. All of us guys used to hang out all the time and sometimes all our girls would come but we don’t really do that much anymore before of this one awful hag. Nobody can stand to be around her and so we just don’t get together as much. Can I ask him not to bring her anymore?

–Fed up (United States)

DEAR FED UP:

You can ask him but you will risk alienating him as a friend. Is there something in particular his girlfriend is doing that you find so objectionable? Is there a way you can bring it up with her directly in a gentle, nonconfrontational, respectful  way? Or could you speak to your friend about this issue in a gentle, nonconfrontational, respectful way (to him and to her) and see if he can mention it to her? This could bring up some tension between you and your buddy but if you guys are truly friends, being honest yet compassionate and respectful (to him as well as to her) is always the best, I believe. In other words, “Your girlfriend is a witch and we all hate her” will probably not go over well at all.

You might also want to notice what it is exactly about his girlfriend that rubs you the wrong way and give her a spirit thank you for bringing up whatever energy this is for you to look at and learn from.

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