Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My girlfriend is moving in with me and she wants me to get rid of anything that any of my exes have ever given me, including my ex-wife. I don’t want to do this, nor do I think it’s necessary. I also think doing so would be a big waste of money. What do you think?

–Spendthrift and Proud of It (United States)

DEAR SPENDTHRIFT:

Well, it’s up to you to decide which is worth more—saving some money on not replacing things or setting up your new life with your girlfriend on a positive note. There should probably be some compromise on both your parts.

Maybe there are a few momentos from previous relationships that you treasure, in which case you should not have to give them all up. But you also don’t want to leave a huge portrait of you and your ex hanging above the dining-room table. I’m kidding but you get my drift. Perhaps you could tuck some sentimental things away in a place where only you can access them like in your man cave if you have one if they’re really important to you. Even better, perhaps you could store a small box at a friend’s or in storage so the house is energetically just for you and your girlfriend.

One thing you might want to consider as you decide what to keep and what to donate/sell/give away, though, is how satisfying it can be to get rid of the old to make space for the new. It really helps to clear the space energetically when you get rid of unnecessary memorabilia of the past.

Since it sounds like you’re combining households, your girlfriend likely has things to replace some of what you’d be getting rid of, so think of yourself as gaining a bunch of stuff for free to make up for or even surpass the value of the things you’d be getting rid of.

Some things I’d consider getting rid of for sure. For example, if your girlfriend wants you to get rid of your bed because she doesn’t want to start your new life together sleeping on a bed you’ve slept with other women on, get rid of the bed. It’s worth the money you’d spend on a new mattress and bed.