Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I get influenced very easily and by many people. I am not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing. Please advise.

DEAR  N.C.,

Your simply asking this question exhibits the wisdom of your soul and the readiness to make a change towards being able to make decisions from your spirit’s wisdom and knowingness rather than being influenced by others.

Being influenced easily in and of itself is not necessarily a good or bad thing because it means you are open-minded and not stuck in some kind of dogma. Instead, you are open to learning and being present to your own divine truth. This being said, it is important to learn to be grounded so that you can make decisions and act from your truth rather than swayed by others’ truth or perhaps others’ agendas that are not be based on your best interest (e.g., someone who wants to sell something you don’t really need or wants to manipulate you for their own benefit). Or even if they are well intentioned, they may not know the truth, much less the best choice for you. What if Mozart’s father had believed Mozart could never succeed as a musician? Or if religious institutions successfully convinced Galileo his work was against God?

There are two great steps you can take to start to be able to discern what influences support you in your path and which don’t: 1) grounding and 2) cultivating discernment.

Grounding will help you stay centered and be more aware of what is right for you. Contact me through www.holdinglightproductions.com, requesting a free recording of a grounding exercise if you would like one. Those who practice martial arts know how important is it to stay grounded. If someone is not grounded, they can easily get thrown by an opponent, or can even stumble or trip all on their own. If a martial artist is grounded, however, it is much more difficult for an opponent to knock them down and they can also be much more agile and move quickly and instinctively when they remain grounded.

Cultivating discernment will help you objectively notice different influences in your life and how they are influencing you. When you are with certain people, do you find yourself constantly doing things that go against yourself? For example, if you are a student, do you have any friends who always urge you to go party with them instead of studying? Or if you are single, do you have any friends who seem to sabotage (perhaps  not consciously) any new relationships, perhaps by disparaging (without reason) a new potential partner or getting angry if you spend any time with anyone but them?

If there are any people with whom you keep making choices that go against your highest good, notice that and make sure that you make choices that really feel good to you and that ultimately build your life in the direction you want. Spend more time with people who encourage you to be your best self and encourage you to be the best you can be, if only by modeling what that means to them in their own life. And even with people who are generally good influences, stay grounded and learn to listen to what your spirit says is the right choice for you in each moment. This is ultimately the way you learn to become the leader of your life, a leader of  your family, at your workplace, in your community, place of worship, or anywhere else you are.

Congratulations for the courage to look at this very important question.