Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do you make friends with a generous boot-ay?

—A.M. (United States)

DEAR A.M.:

Fortunately, I am well qualified to answer your question. Ha ha.

Start out by really validating your body, every single part of it, including your booty! Thank your booty for taking the weight off your feet while sitting, and for everything else it does for you. Harvard Med research even points to generous cabooses being linked to helping fight diabetes, so thank your curvy derriere for that as well!

When we get resistant to certain things (whether it’s our weight or someone we’re trying to get away from), they tend to stick. Hence the saying: “What we resist, persists.” Also when we focus on something we’re not crazy about, our energy tends to strengthen whatever you’re resisting. So the more you focus on you’re the size of booty, the more sizable it may become. When you start to validate it, it’ll shift to match whatever it’s meant to be in your divine perfection much more easily.

Finally, own that booty and delight in your curves. Wear clothes that show off your booty, whether it’s with nicely fitted jeans (maybe with a bootleg cut to balance out your beautiful womanly proportions) or maybe a tulip pencil skirt.  Many people try to hide what they consider “flaws,” but end up with a not-so-flattering potato-sack look that makes them look a lot bigger (and shapeless) than they actually are.

When you view yourself and carry yourself with pride, others will be able to appreciate you even more. I love my bodacious butt and have gotten nothing but appreciation from those lucky enough to keep company with it! And women like Jennifer Lopez or Beyonce probably haven’t gotten any complaints either—at least not from anybody that can appreciate beauty in its divine form.

So shake your booty with pride, sister! And you brothers too! Everybody, shake your booty!