HOW CAN YOU DETERMINE THE RIGHT WAY TO TREAT YOUR MONEY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do you determine if the way you treat your money is right? I mean, how can I judge or neutrally observe my relationship to both spending and saving my money?

I have always lived a sheltered life and only have a strict family to compare myself to as regards money. My family is frugal which funnily pushes me in the opposite direction and I overspend and don’t give a fig, even when I perhaps should.

—Curious (Canada)

 

DEAR CURIOUS:

Thanks for your awareness on your spending habits. Often when we resist something (like our family pushing us to be frugal), we can go in the opposite direction, even when it’s not in our best interest.

Perhaps you could try making a list of your top 10 priorities—health, education, career, etc. And just for a month, write down every single amount you spend and what you spent it on. Notice then whether your spending reflects your true priorities and you can choose to make adjustments accordingly.

Notice, too, as you are thinking of spending money—in what energy are you spending it? For example, are you wanting to buy something out of a feeling of wanting to self-soothe to make yourself feel better for a moment? Or are you wanting to spend money out of a feeling of lack—like you’ll miss out and never have the chance for something again if you don’t buy that thing now? Or are you making the decision to buy something from a space of awareness and empowerment where you know you have the money and choose to buy something because you know it will add to your life’s mission and priorities.

Have fun exploring this! Thanks for being curious!

WHY DO I LOVE SOME PEOPLE INSTANTLY AND NOT LOVE SOME PEOPLE INSTANTLY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do I love some people instantly and not love some people instantly?

—Wanting to Love Everyone (United States)

DEAR W.T.L.E.:

That’s a complicated question with many factors but I’ll give you a very simple answer.

Sometimes our reactions to certain people are related to past lives we’ve had—knowing them in a past life can make up sometimes instantly be drawn to someone or to instantly wince upon meeting them for the first time in this lifetime. And sometimes be instantly drawn to someone only later to deplore them—that can also be related to past lives.

Sometimes, too, we may want to avoid people because they are reflecting back to us stuff we haven’t dealt with within ourselves. For example, if someone tends to be very controlling, we may resist them if we ourselves are controlling or are not neutral to control energy.

In the end, I believe we’re all come from love and we are all made of love. Sometimes it just takes longer to remember that. : )

HOW CAN A GUY TELL IF OTHER GUYS ARE CHECKING YOU OUT?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How can you tell if a guy is checking you out? I’m a guy but I feel like sometimes guys are looking at me.

—Creeped Out (United States)

DEAR C.O.:

Well, guys might be checking you out, just as guys check us women out. They may be sometimes but that is nothing to get disturbed about. Notice what you are getting disturbed about. Are you feeling objectified, as we women and people in general often are? Are you creeped out because somehow you are afraid of your reaction to being checked out? That might be something to notice for yourself.

In any case, if you don’t want to be checked out by other guys, just don’t give it any energy or resistance and that energy will just go right through you or slide off of you. If you keep resisting it, you might notice it starts to happen even more. You can’t stop people from checking you out but you have the power to decide how you respond to it and how you let it affect you.

WHAT IS CAUSING MY APATHY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Lately I’ve been feeling very apathetic. I can’t get anything done—housework, or much else. I am not as productive at work lately. I’m not particularly tired. I just don’t feel like doing anything. What could be causing this?

–Slacker (Untied States)

DEAR S.:

Sometimes when our energy is shifting, it can sometimes feel like everything is stagnant and the energy is not moving. Examples of when energy is shifting include when we’re going to make a career change or some other kind of major life change.

Also, apathy is actually a form of energetic resistance. Just let yourself be apathetic for a while and see if the energy shifts more quickly when you give it space to be.

Also, I encourage you to let yourself imagine what really makes you excited. A new hobby, a class to take, travelling to a place you’ve always wanted to go, or whatever really gets your juices flowing. And give yourself permission to explore this new thing, whatever it is.

NOTE TO READERS: I invite you to send your own questions in, either via the comments section or to askdalimama@gmail.com. Also, I might be taking days off now and then the rest of the year as I finish up some projects in the works. Sorry the blog has been a bit sporadic lately.

 

HOW DO I GET MY OLD SELF BACK?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I used to be a very capable, bright, talented, high-achieving person. Then life happened! So I wanna ask: How do you get your motivation/joie de vivre/get up and go/your drive and pizzazz back, when life has kicked it out of you over a prolonged period of unbearable hardship? The rollercoaster of horror is over now and life and I are a zillion times better–THANK GOD–but I want the old fiery me back. I miss her….

Everything I used to touch would turn to gold–big or small. I want to be able to manifest things like I used to–in a nano-second. I don’t mean in a spiritual sense–wish or ask for something and it manifests. I mean through my hard work, which used to be as fun, enjoyable and effortless as child’s play. Now what used to be spontaneously done without a second thought feels like an obligation or heavy chore. Procrastination is where I’m at.

I’m getting worked on by the Entities of Light and Love that work through John of God in Brazil. This is helping immeasurably and they’ve cleaned me up good and proper from depression, etc. They’ve been my savior–for want of a less evangelical word.

Any ideas on how I can help this situation along? Gain momentum and get me, myself, and I back–in all her glory…. I feel the need to achieve big in life again!! Thank you.

–Me, Myself and I (Brazil)

DEAR ME, MYSELF, AND I:

First of all, validate that you still are a very capable, bright, talented, high-achieving person. The joy is still in you as well, even if sometimes it gets a little buried under other stuff.

You are lucky to be getting healings through John of God from the Entities of Light and Love. Sometimes when you’re getting massive healings such as at the Casa in Brazil, in the process of dumping a lot of old energies that no longer serve you, it may temporarily seem even more overwhelming to get things done but remember, it’s just temporary.

Enjoy exactly where you’re at and don’t try to be anywhere but where you are for the moment. If you try to go back to the old joy and the old ways, it creates a form of resistance/effort. Perfectionism is also a form of resistance, as is procrastination. The more you can just be and take little steps towards your dreams, embracing the joy of the present moment, the more you will be able to produce and achieve. Play with this process and play with what manifesting looks like from your new state of being.

I suspect you will be able achieve even more, as well as to resonate in joy as you immerse yourself in the divine flow.

HOW DO I HAVE ANOTHER FEMALE EJACULATION?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Years ago, I had an ejaculation as a female. I have since been trying to replicate the experience but never could. What advice do you have so that I can do it again? It was out of this world and I want so badly to do it again.

–Trying (New Zealand)

DEAR TRYING:

The very act of trying to recreate a particular experience, whether it’s female ejaculation, a magical date, or a performance of a song you sang really well, creates a resistance that ultimately blocks the energy.

There are some great books about sex and female ejaculation. I recommend you read them and play on your own and with a partner and really be in the moment, enjoying whatever happens with no particular attachment to a specific outcome. Also, let go of any pictures of you have or how it has to happen or pictures of it needing to be “perfect.” That way, you open up the energy to have another wonderful orgasmic experience, whether you ejaculate or not.

Perhaps it can be even more amazing once you give it space and permission to unfold in whatever unique way it will happen next time.

Have fun with that. I am sure you will. Ha ha.

 

WHY DOES A HEALING WORK ON ONE PERSON AND NOT ANOTHER?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I’ve had healings and had amazing results and so I sent my husband to get a healing with this woman that really helped me, but he didn’t notice any changes. Why do some people heal and others don’t?

–Wondering (Canada)

DEAR WONDERING:

That’s a great question. There are a number of possible reasons. Here are just a few of the common ones:

1)    Some modalities may work better for one individual or their particular condition at that time than for others.

2)    Sometimes different illnesses or conditions have teachings that a spirit has signed up for in this lifetime and the person may have not yet completed the lessons and is therefore not ready or willing as a spirit to finish the teaching of their condition.

3)    An individual’s beliefs may affect how much they can HAVE the healing. For example, some people can have just as powerful a remote, long-distance healing as an in-person healing, while another person may believe that a long-distance healing cannot be as effective, so they may not allow as much of the healing.

4)    Sometimes different energies, such as fear or resistance, can block an individual’s ability to heal at that time.

5)    With particular conditions, sometimes a healer has to start at a particular point that the individual may not be aware of and something has in fact changed, but the person did not notice or may not notice as the healing process can continue over as long as six months or longer. Sometimes, too, the physical body can only process a little of the healing at that time because processing all of it at once would be too much of a shock for the body.

 

WHY DO I FEEL WORSE AFTER MY HEALING?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I had a healing with this shaman and I’ve felt really awful since then. What’s going on?

–Feeling Worse than Before (Brazil)

DEAR FEELING WORSE:

Sometimes when someone gives you a “healing” but the energy isn’t really clean or the healer isn’t truly aware of what’s happening with the energies, sometimes you could be affected by foreign energies or your etheric body may be damaged and you may feel worse than you did before the healing.

Sometimes, however, a person may feel worse after a wonderful healing for a period of time, usually immediately after to a few days or longer. We call this a “growth period,” a period of time during which you continue to release the old energies that needed to go while your body integrates the new shifts in energies.  The most intense part of the growth period is usually no longer than a week or so, but a milder form of the growth period may continue months.

For example, if you released grief during the healing, you may feel more emotional or raw. If you released anger, you might feel irritable for a while. Some people experience growth periods as a time where they feel spacy or tired or wired and agitated. If you’re experiencing a growth period, just keep validating the healing process and stay neutral to the energies you’re releasing. If you resist them, they tend to get stuck again.

If you feel that you’re not in a growth period but actually had some energetic damage done to you, please see a reputable healer that you trust who can help repair any damage.

ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR SOMEONE TIRED OF LOOKING FOR A JOB?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

At this point in life I have a weak resume, no real connections and all I’ve done for the past eight years is send out resumes to nonprofits, which I’d eventually like to work in, to no avail. My plan B has always been to just work for a college but it ALL seems so ho-hum. Do you have any suggestions as far as bringing something about easily–I’m pretty tired of trying to figure it out and going that route just makes everything seem hard and a little pointless. Am I apathetic or what?

–Ann (United States)

DEAR ANN:

I understand the challenges of seeking work during this time in the United States. Don’t just send out resumes as many jobs are not actually filled solely through the standard resume route. Only target places you really want to work for. Find a place that does work you’re passionate about and, if you can, volunteer a couple hours a week so they can get to know you.

Another target maybe five top places with causes that you want to champion and call the person who is in charge of the area you are most interested in and talk to them. Tell them your skills, your experience, ask how you can help, and ask if they can meet with you or at least have a chat about how you can get in at their organization. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

Once they know you and what you’re capable of, they’d be smart to hire you. Even if nothing is available at the time, leave your contact info and keep in touch periodically (maybe a postcard every month or something) and keep yourself in the forefront of their minds so hopefully they’ll contact you when an opening does come up.

Finally, reset the energy of your job search. Go in and HAVE the job you want in the powerful energy that is divinely yours. Don’t go in with the energy of needing a job, like they’d be doing you a favor to hire you, or like a beggar asking for a handout. HAVE the energy of your dream job first, then go in, offering and allowing them the honor and gift of you working for their organization. Once you do this, the energy will start to build.

As far as apathy, apathy is a form of resistance, and resistance can create walls between you and what you’re trying to create. So have enthusiasm and fun in your job search. The human resource people will sense that, even when they’re just looking at your resume.

WHY DON’T PEOPLE LIKE ME?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am a 43-year-old man and I feel like I am a good person. I am honest and hard-working and I try to be very considerate of people but people just don’t seem to like me. Women don’t want to date me and my co-workers don’t invite me out with the gang but they seem to invite most of the other fellows. I read a lot of books about how to get along with people and try to do the right things but I just don’t understand what is going on. Why don’t people like me?

–FEEL LIKE GIVING UP AND LIVING IN A CAVE (United States)

DEAR CAVEMAN (BUT PLEASE DON’T BE ONE UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO):

Please do not go live in a cave unless you particularly wish to live in a cave for some other reason than giving up.

There are many reasons why people don’t wish to hang out with wonderful folk, whether they’re male or female.

Here are some common reasons I have noticed:

  • Sometimes people bond in “coolness,” which is actually sometimes pictures of pain or exclusion. They may not know how to relate to someone who just cares about other people and wants to get to know them.
  • Sometimes kind and well-meaning people are not aware of what they’re doing with their energy. They may mean well but sometimes they may not be aware of energetic boundaries or responses from people. Or sometimes even other energies come through them that they’re unaware of,  particularly if they tend to be ungrounded. You’ve probably seen examples of this in a person who is usually very kind but turn into someone quite different when they’re drinking or stressed.
  • Some people cannot handle someone who is authentic or someone who has energies that bring out the truth. I suspect you are one of these types of people. You may not realize it, but when you’re around, all the lies start to reveal themselves, even the lies people have been telling themselves for years. This does not always make people happy and may make them run away from you. In which case, laugh and keep shining your light until you meet other like-minded souls, which you will.
  • As far as women not wanting to date you, some women (although they may complain they want a nice guy) prefer the “bad boys.” And some people just can’t “have” a really great guy—i.e., they may feel undeserving of someone who really respects them or treats them wonderfully. You might even, if you’re friends with anyone you’ve dated in the past, ask them to have a coffee with you and give you feedback on what you can do to strengthen your dating and relationship skills.
  • Sometimes people just try too hard. Effort is actually a form of resistance, and when you try too much, it can create a barrier between you and others. Be yourself and just keep liking people and eventually you will meet people who like you back.
  • Sometimes choose a certain type that they’re not necessarily compatible with. Expand your circle of people you meet and get to know and notice what you notice.

I encourage you to start by loving yourself. Also, expand your social horizons. Join a club or something where you can meet like-minded individuals. Take initiative. Ask a few co-workers to join you for lunch one day instead of waiting to be invited to lunch. Someone with a kind heart like you is bound to make friends and meet someone. Keep the faith and know that you are made of love.

WHAT TO DO WITH AN ACCUSING GIRLFRIEND?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My girlfriend is always accusing me of cheating on her. I am a faithful woman who has been in this relationship for several years and used to be very committed but now every time she does this, it just makes me want to actually go out and cheat on her although this is not my style at all. Should I break it off? Or is there a way to fix this?

–Had It up to Here (Portugal)

DEAR HAD IT:

You might want to try relationship counseling if you have not already and she should also go to counseling on her own to address the root of her self-sabotaging behavior and fears. With the guidance of your relationship counselor or therapist, perhaps you could both set a timeframe for this behavior to change and agree on the consequences of this behavior continuing past this time.

Communicate clearly to your girlfriend how this behavior is damaging the relationship and what the consequences of this behavior entail; e.g., your leaving the relationship since it seems you’re near a breaking point.

Only you can decide if this is a deal breaker for you or not. Do the positive aspects of this relationship outweigh the frustrations of this ongoing issue? If not, perhaps it is time to go once you’ve given it your best.

Your girlfriend’s behavior is a good example of how people can create the situations they dread the most through their own resistance and fear.

Either way, let go of any resistance to her false accusations. It is natural to want to do something you’re accused falsely of but it will only hurt both of you. 

STAYING HEALTHY DURING COLD & FLU SEASON

DEAR DALI MAMA:

What do you suggest for not getting sick during this cold and flu season?

–Healthy and Wanting to Stay that Way (United States)

DEAR HEALTHY:

In addition to the basics you know such as washing your hands, vitamin C, etc., here are some energetic tips that can help support your health so you don’t catch a cold or any other bugs going around:

1)    Ground and run your energy regularly (email holdinglightproductions@yahoo.com if you want a free recording of grounding exercises).

2)    Be sure to fill in with your wholeness and health and a strong immune system and fresh new life force anytime you release any energy. Sometimes when people release energy after getting a healing or simply moving a lot of energy but don’t fill in afterwards with the energy they want, that can leave them more open to catching a cold.

3)    When you’re with a person who is sick, don’t resist their cold or the germs. Simply be in your health. When you resist catching a cold from someone, your energy will tend to match the vibration of that illness, making you more prone to actually catching a cold.

Oh, and I love a dropper full of colloidal silver every now and again if I feel like I’m fighting something. It seems to work for me really well as long as I take it the moment I’m starting to drag a bit.

Happy health!

CHANGING DYNAMICS IN FRIENDSHIPS

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have a friend who till relatively recently meant the world to me but I have hugely grown and grown up as a person and I see her more for who she really is now.

I know now that I am easily her equal and no longer need a teacher/counselor (though she’d like to keep me in this position). Then when I look at her side of the friendship it’s based on her trying constantly to get me to use my spiritual gifts for her gratification (though she disguises it as a big need); or dumping her emotional stuff on me and generally trying to get me to her level of being–sad, frustrated, angry, lonely, etc.

On my side of the friendship, I used to get in touch with her when I felt I couldn’t cope with life as my mother never listened so I’ve always turned to other strong women. I need also to change this. How do I feel like I’m enough for myself to be able to cope with the emotional reactions I have without reaching out to others?

I fear her reaction as my mother shows rage and subsequent withholding of love I have been petrified of when I stand up to her. So my friend is a mirror. I want to find the courage not only to speak my truth but to also stand my ground and not shake inside or feel bad. I want to break this lifelong behavior pattern.

Also how do I discover what remains of our friendship when I make changes based on the above?

–M.L. (Switzerland)

DEAR M.L.:

It’s great you’re looking at both sides of the relationship as well as what you have to learn from this relationship. That’s an essential skill for any solid relationship.

The most important thing is for you to hold your space and be who you are—a strong woman in your power. Do this and your friend will either rise up to meet you at this new vibration or fall away. Sometimes, too, people have to withdraw for a little while first before they can meet up with you later at your true vibration.

Also, don’t resist any energies as far as her dumping energies on you. She can do that all she wants but it will only stick if you allow it to or if you resist those energies. Just validate your wholeness and love and power and see her as a whole and divine being as well and you can best enjoy her company (or not) while understanding both of you are divine beings in bodies and that you both are teachers in some areas and students in some, as we all are. In spirit there is no competition—no better than or less than, only wholeness and divinity. Keep validating that wholeness in yourself and in her and she can choose to match that more easily in her expression of her spririt in the physical plane.

Note: Readers, I invite you to send in your own questions. You may email them to askdalimama@gmail.com or write them in the comments section.

 

 

HOW DO I FORGET THE PAST?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do I let go of things? Is there a way to get better at forgetting the past?

—N.C. (Nepal)

DEAR N.C.:

Perhaps you don’t have to necessarily forget the past, but we do have to let the past go when it keeps us from fully enjoying the present and embracing the future. We can keep our memories of events but sometimes what we need is to let go of the energy of those events. For example, if I hurt someone or if someone hurt me, I can take the lesson of that event in my life. For instance, maybe I need to be more careful of the words that come out of my mouth because I will never be able to unsay them if I hurt someone with careless words. Or if someone purposely hurt me, perhaps I am to take the lesson of discernment in the people I hang out with.

The key is not to get stuck in any energies of regret or anger. Or course, you can feel those emotions, but don’t let yourself get trapped in those energies. Just feel them and let those energies pass through you so you can let the energies of difficult times go while keeping the lessons (and joy) of any event.

Sometimes it is helpful to validate the past (even the hard parts) as what made you who you are today. Every event, every person you encounter, whether things turned out the way you wanted to or not, can be a teaching. So accept that teaching with gratitude and thank those events or people who made you who you are today.

I wish you much love and grace as you move on into your future.

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