Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do I let go of things? Is there a way to get better at forgetting the past?

—N.C. (Nepal)

DEAR N.C.:

Perhaps you don’t have to necessarily forget the past, but we do have to let the past go when it keeps us from fully enjoying the present and embracing the future. We can keep our memories of events but sometimes what we need is to let go of the energy of those events. For example, if I hurt someone or if someone hurt me, I can take the lesson of that event in my life. For instance, maybe I need to be more careful of the words that come out of my mouth because I will never be able to unsay them if I hurt someone with careless words. Or if someone purposely hurt me, perhaps I am to take the lesson of discernment in the people I hang out with.

The key is not to get stuck in any energies of regret or anger. Or course, you can feel those emotions, but don’t let yourself get trapped in those energies. Just feel them and let those energies pass through you so you can let the energies of difficult times go while keeping the lessons (and joy) of any event.

Sometimes it is helpful to validate the past (even the hard parts) as what made you who you are today. Every event, every person you encounter, whether things turned out the way you wanted to or not, can be a teaching. So accept that teaching with gratitude and thank those events or people who made you who you are today.

I wish you much love and grace as you move on into your future.