HOW TO QUIT SMOKING?

17 May 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Do you have any suggestions on quitting smoking?

–Hacking and Harried (England)

DEAR H&H:

Congratulations on deciding to quit.

To start, notice what you notice about smoking? Do you have particular triggers that make you want to smoke? For example, do you always want to smoke after eating? Do what you can to make small switches to triggers to make it easier to quit. For example, if you always want to smoke after a meal, make a new post-meal ritual to replace the smoking, like going for a short walk instead of lighting up after each meal. Your body and your lungs will thank you.

Also notice—do you jones for a cigarette when you’re in a certain type of mood? For example, do you grab a cigarette when you feel lonely or stressed? If so, just sit with whatever emotion you’re experiencing and just have it for a while and let it be okay. Often, people smoke as a way to pop out of their body to escape from uncomfortable feelings. Unfortunately, however, the feelings and issues are still there (and probably have increased) by popping out and going unconscious to the feelings by smoking. So just notice what you notice and let those energies be before lighting up.

Also validate that you are senior to smoking, to cigarettes. Validate your power and your power to choose yourself, your health, and your prosperity, over giving your power (and health and money) to a corporation that wants to profit off of your dependence on their product.

HOW DO I FORGET THE PAST?

27 Jan 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do I let go of things? Is there a way to get better at forgetting the past?

—N.C. (Nepal)

DEAR N.C.:

Perhaps you don’t have to necessarily forget the past, but we do have to let the past go when it keeps us from fully enjoying the present and embracing the future. We can keep our memories of events but sometimes what we need is to let go of the energy of those events. For example, if I hurt someone or if someone hurt me, I can take the lesson of that event in my life. For instance, maybe I need to be more careful of the words that come out of my mouth because I will never be able to unsay them if I hurt someone with careless words. Or if someone purposely hurt me, perhaps I am to take the lesson of discernment in the people I hang out with.

The key is not to get stuck in any energies of regret or anger. Or course, you can feel those emotions, but don’t let yourself get trapped in those energies. Just feel them and let those energies pass through you so you can let the energies of difficult times go while keeping the lessons (and joy) of any event.

Sometimes it is helpful to validate the past (even the hard parts) as what made you who you are today. Every event, every person you encounter, whether things turned out the way you wanted to or not, can be a teaching. So accept that teaching with gratitude and thank those events or people who made you who you are today.

I wish you much love and grace as you move on into your future.

HOW DO I MOVE ON FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP?

22 Jan 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have been through a break-up and thought I was over him. By doing a lot of meditation, plus taking care of myself, I thought I had already moved on, especially because I haven’t thought about him in a while. Then, today, I ran into him briefly while I was with someone else. The conversation was basically hi and goodbye but I felt something in my heart, something heavy, like a pain. I do not understand why I felt this way. Also, he even gave me a small gift later that day. Please help me to understand what is going on and how to move on completely from him.
—Regina (Brazil)

DEAR REGINA:

Love can be one of the most challenging issues, as well as the most rewarding. It’s very natural to feel pain about an old relationship, especially after running into an ex, as that can trigger more waves of old feelings and energies to release from the past. Validate that you could feel that heartache because it shows how much you are capable of feeling, and that’s a very beautiful thing. Also, the more you can feel (and thus have) that heartache, the more that you can feel (and have) joy, love, and more.

Seeing you with someone else may have triggered a little jealousy or regret in your ex, and him giving you a present was a way of trying to pull you back in. Receive the gift as a validation of what you had together, and keep on the path that is right for you, whatever that is.

Think about what makes you happy and focus first on creating a solid relationship with yourself and creating a life that you love. Have your energy for you. Don’t give any energy to your ex, whether that’s in the form of regretting the past, waxing nostalgic about what could have been, or resistance towards running into him. Just validate the past and what you and your ex learned from each other and let it all go to make space for something new and amazing.

Stay your beautiful and open-hearted self and enjoy the ride!

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