My boyfriend is really huge, if you know what I mean. It feels really painful when we have sex. What do you recommend?

–C.D. (United States) 


I’m going to answer this from the perspective of you being a female and if that’s not the case, let me know the specifics and I’ll answer it from a different perspective.

First of all, be sure to communicate what is going on so he can be more aware of what’s going on with you so he can go more slowly and gently, and so he can know the exact point that it becomes uncomfortable. Maybe you could start for a month or so with you being on top so you can have more control over how far he goes in and at what pace. Use tons of lubricant too. Try Sylk or you can even make your own with aloe if you have any aloe plants. Over time, your vaginal canal will start to stretch more to accommodate him (both girthwise and lengthwise) but never push yourself beyond what is comfortable for you, or your body will start to resist and you could also damage something.

Play with this gradually and see how it goes. At the very least, you both should be able to find a happy medium over time.

Note: Readers, I invite you to send in your own questions. You may email them to askdalimama@gmail.com or write them in the comments section.



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