Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I’ve been dating this fellow for a few years but my parents don’t like him at all. They say he’s just not right for me but I think it’s because he’s blue collar and I am a white-collar professional woman who does pretty well financially and because he doesn’t have a lot of money. Do you think it’s important to have your parents’ blessing before marrying?

–Uncertain (United States)

DEAR UNCERTAIN:

Well, it’s always a gift to have your parents’ blessing for your marriage. Some marriage ceremonies even ask the family and friends to pledge their support of the couple.  It’s not essential, however.

Have you asked your parents why they don’t like him? Is it because he simply doesn’t fit the picture of whom they think you should be with? Or is there another reason? Ask them, hear what they have to say, and consider it with an open mind but let your inner knowingness make the final decision.

More important than your parents’ blessing is your own happiness. Since you’ve been with this man for a while, I’m guessing his “collar” status or income isn’t that important to you, especially since you’re bringing in enough money. So as long as he makes an effort to contribute and is not frivolous with the finances or is not energetically mooching off of you, it’s probably not an important factor as long as it doesn’t matter to you.

At the end of the day, when you are both at home alone in those quiet moments on the couch or at the dinner table or in the garden or in bed, are YOU happy? If you are, that’s what matters the most. Even if someone had a platinum collar, it still couldn’t buy your happiness if he is just not the right match for you.