Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Five of my exes have been orphans. What’s up with that? I don’t even know that they’re orphans when I meet them and we first start going out.

–Male Orphan Magnet (United States)

DEAR MAGNET:

That is a very interesting pattern in your life and I congratulate you for looking at this. I’m assuming you’re not an orphan yourself as you did not mention being one, in which case do you notice yourself taking on the role of healer in relationships, thereby attracting someone that is looking for a knight in shining armor, a savior, or perhaps a parental figure?

If you want, when you’re dating, notice if you are drawn to people you want to help or if you are putting out vibes of being a helper instead of an equal partner/helpmate. Also notice if there’s a part of you that needs to do for people instead of simply being in a relationship. Also notice—do you feel like you need to DO for someone in order to be able to have a relationship? That perhaps you do not feel worthy of being in a relationship by simply being, not doing?

Have fun noticing these dynamics and creating whatever dynamics you want.