IS IT OKAY FOR THE GIRL TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have been friends with this guy for years and I really like him. Do you think it’s okay for the girl to make a move on someone? Or how do I let him know that I’m interested in being more than friends if it’s not ok?

–Interested (Canada)

DEAR INTERESTED:

Well, I am not known for my subtlety in romantic situations but I’ll do my best to answer your question. Ha ha.

I believe it’s completely fine for whomever is interested (male or female) in someone who is available (male or female) to make the first move or to express interest.

Be aware that, since you’ve been friends a long time, it is possible that he may just think of you platonically. It is also possible he is interested but is either shy or believes you only think of him as a friend. It is also possible that although you both are just friends now, he might be open to exploring the possibility of something more with you if you open the door by either broaching the topic or doing something more demonstrative, perhaps a kiss on the mouth where you linger long enough to know if he’s into or not. If you kiss him, give him time and space to have whatever reaction he has. Either way, you’ll never know unless you go for it.

Me, I’d much rather go for something I want than to not go for it and wonder.

If he does not reciprocate your romantic feelings, you might feel a bit awkward briefly but this awkwardness will probably only last between you for as long as you hold any awkward feelings or embarrassment. If you let it go, so will he.

No matter his response, I congratulate you for the courage of expressing your feelings and going for what you want. For that, you should only be proud, no matter the outcome.

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