I have just developed an interest in meditation. How should I go about pursuing that? I tried to do the exercises of grounding and running energy that you send for free but even that seems a little difficult for me. How best to start?

–Curious (United States)


Keep at the exercises I sent you, doing even 10 minutes a day or maybe 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes before you go to sleep if you can. Even if you can’t quite feel the energy yet, set your intention and just follow along with the exercise. Eventually, over time, you will develop more awareness on your meditation as your body gets accustomed to doing these meditations.

Another thing I suggest is simply to carve out time for stillness and quiet. For example, take at least 15 minutes a day of silence—no tv, no radio, no Internet, no conversation and hopefully others will leave you in peace for a little while every day. In other words, no distractions from yourself. Perhaps you can let loved ones know that every morning, you will be taking quiet time for yourself at a certain time and not to come in when you’re meditating.

You can also do your own version of walking meditation—walking in a park or a forest trail or something, but in completely silence, with no headphones or Ipod, only your thoughts. That’s a great way to start—simply taking time for just you and your thoughts. Notice what thoughts come up for you and don’t try to solve anything or fix any problems. Just notice what you notice and let the thoughts float away, just letting yourself be in the moment.

Enjoy the exploration.



I have been friends with this guy for years and I really like him. Do you think it’s okay for the girl to make a move on someone? Or how do I let him know that I’m interested in being more than friends if it’s not ok?

–Interested (Canada)


Well, I am not known for my subtlety in romantic situations but I’ll do my best to answer your question. Ha ha.

I believe it’s completely fine for whomever is interested (male or female) in someone who is available (male or female) to make the first move or to express interest.

Be aware that, since you’ve been friends a long time, it is possible that he may just think of you platonically. It is also possible he is interested but is either shy or believes you only think of him as a friend. It is also possible that although you both are just friends now, he might be open to exploring the possibility of something more with you if you open the door by either broaching the topic or doing something more demonstrative, perhaps a kiss on the mouth where you linger long enough to know if he’s into or not. If you kiss him, give him time and space to have whatever reaction he has. Either way, you’ll never know unless you go for it.

Me, I’d much rather go for something I want than to not go for it and wonder.

If he does not reciprocate your romantic feelings, you might feel a bit awkward briefly but this awkwardness will probably only last between you for as long as you hold any awkward feelings or embarrassment. If you let it go, so will he.

No matter his response, I congratulate you for the courage of expressing your feelings and going for what you want. For that, you should only be proud, no matter the outcome.



I spent many years in a sexless marriage and am newly divorced. Could you tell me, is there a profession or professions that typically have men with more of a sex drive and/or that are good in bed? Because if there is, I want to date someone in that profession.



Sexuality is a complex aspect of self so there are no hard (ha ha, yes, pun intended) rules as far as men in a certain profession. There are very sensual engineers and ardent accountants, so prevailing stereotypes are false (as are all stereotypes inherently).

I suggest having a conversation early on (before you sleep with someone but definitely way before you’re either getting undressed or are already naked!) about your individual priorities regarding sex. If you’re getting along well with someone and it’s a huge priority for you but not at all a priority for them (like maybe they’re happy having sex once a month or not at all), you both know right away that is an issue and you both have a chance to evaluate whether the compatible areas outweigh the differences in opinions about sex—frequency, quality, styles, etc.

Another option is getting a reading to determine your sexual and other compatibilities before the relationship progresses too far. But a general conversation on the topic is still important. And of course, certain factors may affect someone’s sex drive temporarily—stress, medications, illness, energy levels, etc.

When you’re on a first date, notice too how he eats. Does he savor each bite or does he wolf things down with one eye on the sports channel and the other on his smartphone?

Also, is he in a job where he can move a lot or is he in a desk job but goes for walks or goes to the gym? Men who exercise may tend to be healthier, which can sometimes translate into a healthy sex drive. Also, men who drink too much or do drugs may sometimes have impaired sexual function.

Personally, I have noticed that people who are doing in life what they love seem to generally have strong sex drives. This is true but not limited to many creative types. Some artists and musicians and chefs (yes, chefs) are quite delightful in bed. But then again, chefs or musicians or artists who are very in their heads (but the upper heads and not the lower heads—oh I am on a roll today, just cracking myself up) and more oriented to technical details without the energy or heart of the music or art or food, may sometimes reflect similar propensities in their lovemaking as well. Athletes can sometimes be a lot of fun, too, and tend to have lots of stamina.

In any case, for every person out there, there are a number of great matches for them, and of course certain partners may bring out certain aspects of their sexuality more than others simply because of the chemistry of that particular relationship combination.

For every person who finds it ideal to have sex once a month, there are a number of people who would be equally happy with this arrangement. It’s just a matter of finding someone with compatible needs.

NOTE: I invite you to write in with your own question, either in the Comments section or by emailing THanks for joining us today and every day, readers!

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