Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA: 

My husband and I have been married for 14 years. We are in our late 30s and early 40s. He wants us to adopt polyamory but I don’t want us to have an open marriage like that and I don’t want to sleep with other people, nor to have him sleeping with other people. What do you think of this idea?

–Reluctant (United States)

DEAR RELUCTANT:

If you do not want to be polyamorous, don’t be.

I think polyamorous relationships are fine when both partners wish for their marriage to be polyamorous and are open and honest and can set and agree on boundaries that they both adhere to. If one of the partners does not wish to be polyamorous and is just going along with it to make the other partner happy, there is an imbalance in the relationship that could lead to resentment later down the road.

You and your husband might want to find a relationship therapist or counselor to help you navigate what is best for both of you individually and as a couple.