HOW DOES A SHY PERSON CHANGE TO FUNCTION IN A GROUP SETTING?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I feel I have pretty decent social skills. I am great talking to people one-on-one or in small groups of maybe up to three or four people. But when the crowd gets any bigger than that, particularly at a party, I clam up and might as well be a big, silent clam in the room. How do I change myself so I can function in a group setting?

–Unbearably Shy (Canada)

DEAR SHY:

Perhaps you can practice being your amazing self in bigger and bigger groups. If you feel comfortable with four people, get together in groups of four for a while. Then spend the next month going to at least once function a week with five people. Then the next week, have a party with six people, for example.

The good thing is that it sounds like you already have good social skills so it’s more of a matter of being who you are/staying who you are, no matter how many people are around. You don’t need to change yourself.

Notice any energies that make you withdraw into your shell, then laugh, and poke your head back out. Keep doing this and watch as it becomes easier and easier over time to shine no matter who or how many people are around.

 

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