Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do I move on from an old love? Everywhere I go, I think I see him or people remind me of him or I remember when I was at certain restaurants with him when I’m out to eat.

–Lovelorn (United States)

DEAR LOVELORN:

Moving on from a relationship is difficult but it will get easier with time. Eventually, you can choose to keep memories of the great times you had together and release the memories and energy of the difficult times and of the breakup.

In the meantime, as you’re healing from the breakup, perhaps you can try out some new places (that you didn’t frequent with your old love) and shake things up—meet some new people, join a club, try a new restaurant, catch up with old friends….

You might want to also switch up your routine. If you had certain rituals with your old love, like taking a walk together after dinner, maybe you could go for a lunchtime walk or a walk before dinner. If you spent a lot of time together in your home, you might even want to switch things up at home—get a new comforter or rearrange your bedroom slightly so it has a different feel to it, signifying a new beginning and a fresh start for you and making room for new love in your life. Also it might be great to get rid of old momentos from the old relationship (photos of the two of you from the wall, for example), or at the very least, to put them in storage somewhere you’re not going to see them all the time.

Validate your ability to love and know that love will come to you again.