HOW DO I MOVE ON FROM AN OLD LOVE?

01 Oct 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Love & Relationships Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do I move on from an old love? Everywhere I go, I think I see him or people remind me of him or I remember when I was at certain restaurants with him when I’m out to eat.

–Lovelorn (United States)

DEAR LOVELORN:

Moving on from a relationship is difficult but it will get easier with time. Eventually, you can choose to keep memories of the great times you had together and release the memories and energy of the difficult times and of the breakup.

In the meantime, as you’re healing from the breakup, perhaps you can try out some new places (that you didn’t frequent with your old love) and shake things up—meet some new people, join a club, try a new restaurant, catch up with old friends….

You might want to also switch up your routine. If you had certain rituals with your old love, like taking a walk together after dinner, maybe you could go for a lunchtime walk or a walk before dinner. If you spent a lot of time together in your home, you might even want to switch things up at home—get a new comforter or rearrange your bedroom slightly so it has a different feel to it, signifying a new beginning and a fresh start for you and making room for new love in your life. Also it might be great to get rid of old momentos from the old relationship (photos of the two of you from the wall, for example), or at the very least, to put them in storage somewhere you’re not going to see them all the time.

Validate your ability to love and know that love will come to you again.

 

HOW TO QUIT SMOKING?

17 May 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Do you have any suggestions on quitting smoking?

–Hacking and Harried (England)

DEAR H&H:

Congratulations on deciding to quit.

To start, notice what you notice about smoking? Do you have particular triggers that make you want to smoke? For example, do you always want to smoke after eating? Do what you can to make small switches to triggers to make it easier to quit. For example, if you always want to smoke after a meal, make a new post-meal ritual to replace the smoking, like going for a short walk instead of lighting up after each meal. Your body and your lungs will thank you.

Also notice—do you jones for a cigarette when you’re in a certain type of mood? For example, do you grab a cigarette when you feel lonely or stressed? If so, just sit with whatever emotion you’re experiencing and just have it for a while and let it be okay. Often, people smoke as a way to pop out of their body to escape from uncomfortable feelings. Unfortunately, however, the feelings and issues are still there (and probably have increased) by popping out and going unconscious to the feelings by smoking. So just notice what you notice and let those energies be before lighting up.

Also validate that you are senior to smoking, to cigarettes. Validate your power and your power to choose yourself, your health, and your prosperity, over giving your power (and health and money) to a corporation that wants to profit off of your dependence on their product.

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