Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How do you completely dedicate your time in doing what you love, even though you know people around will have expectations from you? But since you get to live only once in the end, why can’t you live for yourself?

—Trying (India)

DEAR TRYING:

People will have always have expectations of you and others, but that doesn’t mean it’s your responsibility to fulfill all of their expectations. No matter how much you excel, whether you’ve found the cure for cancer or won the Pulitzer, certain people may criticize you for buying a cake from the supermarket and not making a pie for the bake sale yourself—haha!

Keep in mind that even the saints have a history of being excommunicated or kicked out of school or disapproved of, which just goes to show you can do all kinds of good things in the world and there will always be someone who is there to criticize. Ultimately, the most important thing is making sure that you have your basic needs met (time to sleep and exercise and attend to your basic needs).

Beyond that, it might helpful to think about your top priorities. For some, as just an example, that might include family, career, and some project that is important to them, whether that is a particular passion project or volunteering for a good cause, learning an instrument, or working towards their biggest life goal.

Whatever those top priorities are for you, it is up to you to carve out time for those, even if it is just half an hour a day, towards making your dreams a reality. Likewise, it is also up to you to say no to things that do not contribute to your biggest priorities, or to find shortcuts or help managing your responsibilities. What things do you think you have to do that you don’t really have to do? Do you have a partner or family or a friend who can lighten your load? If so, ask them for help and let yourself receive it.

Please live your life for your happiness and fulfillment, my friend.