WHY DO GUYS CHASE ME ONLY AFTER I’VE LOST INTEREST?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do guys seem interested in me only after I lose interest in them? It’s like once I stop thinking about them, then they suddenly call and start chasing me. I don’t get it.

—Exasperated (Canada)

DEAR EXASPERATED:

Haha. That is a question for the ages that many women around the world have asked themselves. There are many possible reasons for this but I will address one key dynamic in this scenario, related to energetic boundaries and space. This dynamic pertains to all kinds of relationships—friendships or work relationships and not just romantic relationships.

Sometimes when we are super-enthusiastic about someone, we may inadvertently get all up in their space and not give the object of our affections energetic space to approach us. Also, because we are in their space, there is no reason for them to call or to make an effort to spend time with you because, energetically speaking, you’re already with them. When you’re interested in someone, call your energy back to yourself and have your energy for yourself. When you do this, oftentimes the person of interest will get ahold of you since 1) they have to take action in order to be with you energetically and physically and 2) they now have the space to take action.

Experiment with how you use your energy and see what happens!

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