HOW DO I GET TO KNOW A WOMAN WITHOUT SEEMING CREEPY OR HARASSING SOMEONE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Can you tell me how to get to know a woman without seeming creepy or like I’m harassing someone? I know these days it can be considered harassment to comment on a woman’s looks so how do I make my interest known without being a creep?

—A Good Guy (United States)

DEAR GOOD GUY:

That’s a great question and wonderful that you’re cognizant of avoiding potentially creepy come-on lines. How about just saying, “Hi. I’m ____. Nice to meet you.” Or even, “Hello. How are you?” Or comment on a shared experience. For example, if you’re at a bar and listening to a band, you can comment on the music. After you start a general conversation, if you seem to be hitting it off and have things in common, you could say something like, “I’ve enjoyed talking to you. Would you be interested in coffee (or dinner or whatever) sometime?”

Personally, as a woman, I am always much more interested in getting to know people who treat me like a person rather than getting to know men who just comment on my looks without knowing anything about me.

Thanks, Good Guy!

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