WHAT DO I GIVE TO MY SISTER-IN-LAW WHO ALWAYS GIVES ME CHEAP OR AWFUL PRESENTS?

18 Dec 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Family Tags: , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My sister-in-law always gives everyone else these hugely expensive and elaborate presents and always gives me something insultingly cheap and/or ugly. For years, I always gave her nice presents but I am thinking that I am just going to either get her something cheap like she gets me or nothing at all. Your advice?

–Scrooged (United States)

DEAR SCROOGED:

If you can’t give her anything with love, maybe it’s best to just give her a card. You might also want to consider giving her a present from an organization such as Heifer International (see http://www.heifer.org/gift-catalog/index.html). Through Heifer, you can buy, for example, a share of a sheep so that a family can use the wool to make products to sell or clothe themselves.

Another great organization is www.kiva.org, through which you can make a micro-loan of $25 (or more) in her name, or let her choose which person or cause to support with her micro-loan. Once the loan is repaid, it can be loaned to the next person to keep the cycle of positive good going strong.

Otherwise, if she has a pet cause or nonprofit, you can make a donation in her name, spreading the love that way. In this way, you can give with love even when it’s difficult to muster up love for someone that is not always kind or generous with you.

WHAT DO I GET A MOTHER-IN-LAW THAT NEVER LIKES ANYTHING?

22 Oct 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am dreading Christmas. Every year, I try to find just exactly what my mother-in-law will like but there is always something wrong with it and she either returns it, exchanges it, or simply looks disappointed or dissatisfied.

–At Wits’ End

DEAR WITS:

Some people will simply not be happy with any gift you give them and it probably has nothing to do with the gift itself. Sometimes, when people are not happy in themselves, they look to external things (gifts, external validation, attention, whatever) to make them happy and they will inevitably fall short, even if the recipient derives some momentary happiness from the object.

Perhaps you could simply find a wonderful photo of your husband (current or a past photo with him and his mom) and put it in a beautiful frame. It is the thought and the love in the present that matters most, after all. And if you’re Christian, celebrating the birth of Christ! She’ll probably like it. Even if she doesn’t like the gift, know you did your best and gave an awesome present and let her have whatever reaction she has and pat yourself on the back.

 

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