Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have herpes, which I got from my ex, and I have been single a few years and I am afraid no one will want to be with me because of the herpes so I haven’t even gone on any dates since we broke up. What do you advise?

–Lonely (United States)

DEAR LONELY:

I believe that there is always love for everyone. It is part of our divine right when we are open to being loved and to loving. One thing you might want to consider is looking for online social groups. The Internet has a million groups all over the world for people of all interests—people who like to hike, foodies, people who are interested in film, and also people who have herpes. Maybe you would feel more comfortable starting out by joining a social club with others in your area who have herpes. That way you don’t have to deal with the uncomfortableness of explaining your medical situation to a prospective romantic partner.

I would also continue to meet people and date as you would normally. Take your time in getting to know a prospective partner and, when you start to get close and decide you’d both like to take things further (but well before the heat of the moment), you can let them know about your condition. If they’re the right person for you, they won’t be dissuaded and you can take precautions to protect their health. You might want to check out http://medweb.mit.edu/wellness/programs/herpes.html for further information on herpes and safe sex.

May you love wholeheartedly and be loved wholeheartedly.