HOW DO I HANDLE FRIENDSHIPS I’VE OUTGROWN?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have had certain friends for decades but almost feel like I outgrew them. How do I handle this?

—Loyal (United States)

DEAR LOYAL:

You can always be friends with them in some way but perhaps it’s time for your relationship to evolve or shift. Perhaps you can shift to seeing them less or, if it’s a group of friends you’ve outgrown, shift to doing occasional reunions or whatever feels comfortable.

Ultimately, you must ask yourself whether specific friendships are helping you grow or holding you back. Continue on your path and the ones who are meant to stay close friends will grow with you or perhaps join up with you later. Let the others fall away and you can continue to love and honor them as ones who helped you become who you are today.

HOW DO I EXIT FRIENDSHIPS GRACEFULLY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have had the same group of friends for decades and find myself growing weary but don’t know how to exit these friendships gracefully. What do you advise?

–Loyal friend (Canada)

DEAR  LOYAL FRIEND:

Well, first of all, you might want to notice what it is about these old friendships you’re weary of. Is it the kinds of things you do with them? The energy that these old friends are sitting in? The way you are or are perceived when you’re with them? Notice what you notice and start to change within yourself the energies you’re weary of.

Next, reach out to new people and groups you feel you resonate with more and challenge yourself to do whatever is exciting and new to you.

As you change, you might be able to relate to these friends in a fresh and fun way rather than exiting these friendships permanently. Perhaps you could start seeing less of them to make space for new relationships and your own growth, but give the old relationships room and permission to evolve as you do. You might be surprised how some of your old friends step up to the new you as you change.

 

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