HOW TO DEAL WITH MY FRIEND ALWAYS BORROWING MONEY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My friend is always short on money, which I don’t understand as she probably makes about the same amount as I do. She’s always borrowing money that she doesn’t pay back. Or sometimes she just “forgets” her wallet. How do I handle this?

–Not an ATM (CANADA)

DEAR NOT AN ATM:

I would address this the next time you and your friend make plans to do something together. Or wait until you are out and it happens again, which sounds like it would probably be the next time you are out together.

I would gently mention to her that she still owes you money and that you do not want to be the one always funding your joint excursions or lending her money that is not paid back. Ask her what is going on in a way that gives her space to be honest and see what happens. At the very least, it will make you feel better by clearing the air and then you can decide where you want to go from there.

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SHOULD I KEEP LOANING MY SON MONEY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My son is always borrowing money from me. He is 27 and works a full-time job and now I am 55, getting close to retiring in five years. I don’t know where all the money goes but he always needs $100 here for this or $200 here for that. I want to be a good dad but I don’t know if I can keep doing this. What should I do?

–Dad (United States)

DEAR DAD:

Although your intentions are good in wanting to help your son, it won’t help him in the long run if you keep bailing him out of situations that would otherwise help him learn budgeting and discrimination on how to use his funds. And anything that is hurting you will ultimately not help him either. It sounds like constantly “lending” him money is putting a strain on your finances. Are you even getting repaid?

Look into, also, if there is something going on that your son is constantly borrowing money for. It is possible that maybe he has a drug addiction or gambling addiction or some other issues that is draining all his money despite his full-time money. If, however, he simply doesn’t make enough working a full-time, minimum-wage hourly job to make basic living expenses (quite possible), maybe you two could arrange something to help you both. Maybe even living together for a while, with him pitching in for some rent, if that would work for both of you.

Wishing you and your son the best.

 

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