Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am fuming at a loved one. I can’t seem to shift my anger. I’m trying to learn the lessons from the situation, which seems to repeat itself over and over again because of this person’s behaviour towards me. What do you do with anger?

—Angry (New Zealand)

DEAR A.:

There’s nothing inherently wrong with anger. Anger can be a signal where your boundaries aren’t being honored or there’s something you need to look at, even if it’s an energetic match with whatever is triggering you. For example, if someone is being disrespectful towards you or dismissive of you, are they mirroring the ways or energies in which you don’t entirely value or respect yourself?

People do unpleasant things sometimes and less-than-ideal situations will occur. You can’t always avoid that, but you can change your own reactions to their behavior.

So thank your anger for pointing out where it’s time for you to look at something more closely, then let it go and don’t get stuck in it. Then you can transform that energy into gratitude towards yourself for changing the way you handle certain situations.