Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am a 45-year-old man and recently I’ve been thinking that maybe my father molested me when I was little. I’m not really sure, though, but sometimes I see pieces of what are maybe memories or maybe they’re dreams. My father is still alive. Should I talk to him about this?

–Am I Crazy? (Canada)

DEAR AM I CRAZY:

This is a difficult situation but you will be able to handle it. Sometimes we may have dreams or even strange astral experiences where someone may be disguised as your father. Or even flashes of past-life recall about someone, which makes “reality” a little murky. On the other hand, it could certainly be something you experienced in this lifetime that you have repressed that is now emerging into your consciousness.

You may want to consider seeing a reputable therapist, possibly a hypnotherapist that can regress you through your childhood. Be sure you choose someone excellent as some therapists who are not qualified may unintentionally lead their patient or plant memories of what they think happened versus what actually happened.

Depending on what you learn during your explorations, you may also want to speak to your father about this, perhaps in the presence of your therapist who can help you navigate the dynamics with your father and who can also provide a neutral opinion of his response when you discuss this with him.

In any case, to be on the safe side, if you have children, don’t leave them unsupervised with your father, just as a precaution. You can do this subtly and without accusing him if you are not sure. And if you have children and have left them with your father, you might ask them general questions (being careful not to lead them in any way) about what they do when they’re hanging out with your father. You may also wish to carefully broach the subject with your siblings if you have any. This might give you some answers as well.

In either case, I applaud your courage to discover the truth and work through these energies.