Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My husband watches TV constantly. He watches sports, reality TV, garbage TV, whatever. It doesn’t even seem to matter. It’s on from the second he gets back from work to the moment he goes to sleep. It drives me crazy. He says it’s his way of relaxing and there’s nothing wrong with it and that I should chill out. What do you think?

–Frustrated wife (United States)

DEAR FRUSTRATED:

Well, there is one thing wrong with it and that his constant TV-watching is upsetting you. Another question is whether his constant TV viewing is interfering with other things—getting chores done, quality time with you (and with kids if you have them), with work, and with your sex life.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with watching TV, if television becomes a crutch or a way of avoiding life and other people, or a way of being basically unconscious to his life, that is indeed an issue and perhaps even an addiction.

I suggest having a neutral conversation and ask him what he is getting out of watching tv constantly and what he is missing by watching TV constantly. Depending on what he says, maybe you both can create a more positive plan of action from there. Perhaps you could suggest some fun things to do together on an outing if you haven’t already. Perhaps he might want to look into counseling as well to help him go deeper into the causes of this behavior.