HELP. MY HUSBAND WATCHES TV CONSTANTLY

18 Jun 2014 2 Comments

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

My husband watches TV constantly. He watches sports, reality TV, garbage TV, whatever. It doesn’t even seem to matter. It’s on from the second he gets back from work to the moment he goes to sleep. It drives me crazy. He says it’s his way of relaxing and there’s nothing wrong with it and that I should chill out. What do you think?

–Frustrated wife (United States)

DEAR FRUSTRATED:

Well, there is one thing wrong with it and that his constant TV-watching is upsetting you. Another question is whether his constant TV viewing is interfering with other things—getting chores done, quality time with you (and with kids if you have them), with work, and with your sex life.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with watching TV, if television becomes a crutch or a way of avoiding life and other people, or a way of being basically unconscious to his life, that is indeed an issue and perhaps even an addiction.

I suggest having a neutral conversation and ask him what he is getting out of watching tv constantly and what he is missing by watching TV constantly. Depending on what he says, maybe you both can create a more positive plan of action from there. Perhaps you could suggest some fun things to do together on an outing if you haven’t already. Perhaps he might want to look into counseling as well to help him go deeper into the causes of this behavior.

 

HOW DO I GO ABOUT MEDITATING?

24 May 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have just developed an interest in meditation. How should I go about pursuing that? I tried to do the exercises of grounding and running energy that you send for free but even that seems a little difficult for me. How best to start?

–Curious (United States)

DEAR CURIOUS:

Keep at the exercises I sent you, doing even 10 minutes a day or maybe 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes before you go to sleep if you can. Even if you can’t quite feel the energy yet, set your intention and just follow along with the exercise. Eventually, over time, you will develop more awareness on your meditation as your body gets accustomed to doing these meditations.

Another thing I suggest is simply to carve out time for stillness and quiet. For example, take at least 15 minutes a day of silence—no tv, no radio, no Internet, no conversation and hopefully others will leave you in peace for a little while every day. In other words, no distractions from yourself. Perhaps you can let loved ones know that every morning, you will be taking quiet time for yourself at a certain time and not to come in when you’re meditating.

You can also do your own version of walking meditation—walking in a park or a forest trail or something, but in completely silence, with no headphones or Ipod, only your thoughts. That’s a great way to start—simply taking time for just you and your thoughts. Notice what thoughts come up for you and don’t try to solve anything or fix any problems. Just notice what you notice and let the thoughts float away, just letting yourself be in the moment.

Enjoy the exploration.

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