Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Sorry. One more question. You just responded to my question about polyamory. A lot of times, when you answer questions, you talk about the energetics of the issue but you didn’t talk about the energetics of polyamory. Can you address the energetics of polyamory beyond whether both partners in a couple wish to adopt it or not?

–Still Reluctant (United States)

DEAR STILL RELUCTANT:

Sometimes one or both of the partners want to bring other people into their relationship as a way of avoiding intimacy with their primary partner, as well as intimacy with themselves on an emotional and spiritual level. If a person has not done their own inner work within themselves or their relationship work with the partner (of course these things are lifelong lessons, but it helps to do concentrated work on oneself), trying to bring external people into their relationship can be a way of avoiding doing their own inner work or on the trust and communication and other work that needs to be done within the primary relationship with their partner.

However, if both partners are doing their inner work and their work with each other and are open and honest with each other and set boundaries about what is and is not acceptable, polyamory can benefit them and their relationship if that is truly what both of them want. If they have not and are not doing their inner work and their karmic work with each other, however, sometimes bringing others into their relationship will exponentially increase and exacerbate any dynamics that are already not working within themselves or within each other.

Hope this clarifies the energetic dynamics as requested.

If any readers who have tried polyamory wish to add any input, please feel free to comment with your own experiences and lessons and insights on the energetic dynamics of polyamorous relationships.