Ask Dali Mama

DEAR DALI MAMA: sept 12

I love my husband dearly and we have been married 17 years. I feel we’ve grown apart, however, and he has no interest in talking about or doing many of the things that have come to be very important to me. What should I/we do?

–Drifting Away (United States)

DEAR DRIFTING AWAY:

That’s important that you’re recognizing this drifting so you can both do something to address it. First, keep in mind that no one person can ever be everything that you want or have compatible characteristics on every level. For example, if you love going to the theater and your husband would rather be hung upside down for three hours than stuck in a theater for three hours, find a friend who loves the theater as much as you do and buy season tickets with that friend.

And hopefully there is at least one thing in all of the million possible things to do that you can both enjoy together. Play with the possibilities and find one or two things you can do together regularly to bond and spend quality time with each other. Since you still love him dearly, that is the most important thing and there is hope for the two of you. Ultimately, though, you both will have to do the work necessary or to decide together to let the marriage go if you’ve both truly drifted away to the point of no return.

Congratulations on doing the hard work necessary and taking a look at this.