WHY DO I SOMETIMES MEET PEOPLE AND LOVE THEM OR HATE THEM?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do I sometimes meet people and love them or hate them?

—Regular Person (United States)

DEAR R.P.:

Sometimes we have a spirit recognition of folks in our soul group or sometimes you just sense something beautiful about that person. Sometimes when we “hate” someone upon just meeting them, that could also be a spirit recognition of someone with whom you had disharmonies. Sometimes, too, people get under our skin when they are mirroring something in ourselves we don’t like. For example, sometimes a controlling person may meet someone and get triggered by their controlling energy or behavior or mannerisms or sometimes may even simply project controlling energy onto that person, so it’s always good to look within ourselves to understand what we’re really getting triggered by through that other person.

Thanks for your question!

WHY DO I LOVE SOME PEOPLE INSTANTLY AND NOT LOVE SOME PEOPLE INSTANTLY?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do I love some people instantly and not love some people instantly?

—Wanting to Love Everyone (United States)

DEAR W.T.L.E.:

That’s a complicated question with many factors but I’ll give you a very simple answer.

Sometimes our reactions to certain people are related to past lives we’ve had—knowing them in a past life can make up sometimes instantly be drawn to someone or to instantly wince upon meeting them for the first time in this lifetime. And sometimes be instantly drawn to someone only later to deplore them—that can also be related to past lives.

Sometimes, too, we may want to avoid people because they are reflecting back to us stuff we haven’t dealt with within ourselves. For example, if someone tends to be very controlling, we may resist them if we ourselves are controlling or are not neutral to control energy.

In the end, I believe we’re all come from love and we are all made of love. Sometimes it just takes longer to remember that. : )

TODAY’S SUNDAY SHARE: STROMAE: MUSICIAN/POET

Every Sunday, I like to share something cool I’ve come across.

My friend Danielle told me about Stromae. I don’t speak French, but those of you who understand French can enjoy his lyrics and their messages of love and equality and honor. He is known as a poet and if you can understand his lyrics, you will understand why.

Check him out at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6CmHVlk-8Y

 

WHAT DO MY HUSBAND AND I DO IF WE’RE DRIFTING APART?

DEAR DALI MAMA: sept 12

I love my husband dearly and we have been married 17 years. I feel we’ve grown apart, however, and he has no interest in talking about or doing many of the things that have come to be very important to me. What should I/we do?

–Drifting Away (United States)

DEAR DRIFTING AWAY:

That’s important that you’re recognizing this drifting so you can both do something to address it. First, keep in mind that no one person can ever be everything that you want or have compatible characteristics on every level. For example, if you love going to the theater and your husband would rather be hung upside down for three hours than stuck in a theater for three hours, find a friend who loves the theater as much as you do and buy season tickets with that friend.

And hopefully there is at least one thing in all of the million possible things to do that you can both enjoy together. Play with the possibilities and find one or two things you can do together regularly to bond and spend quality time with each other. Since you still love him dearly, that is the most important thing and there is hope for the two of you. Ultimately, though, you both will have to do the work necessary or to decide together to let the marriage go if you’ve both truly drifted away to the point of no return.

Congratulations on doing the hard work necessary and taking a look at this.

 

MY CHILD IS REPEATING NEGATIVE THINGS ABOUT ME THAT MY EX SAYS ABOUT ME. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS?

 

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have been divorced for a year. I have two small children for whom I share custody with my ex-wife. Sometimes my daughter who is four will say bad things about me, which I believe she is repeating, like “That’s because you’re a bad daddy and you don’t care about any of us.” My wife says things like that on the phone to me and I think she is parroting what she has heard, but it hurts me a lot. How do I handle this?

–Hurting Dad (Australia)

DEAR HURTING DAD:

I would start by having a neutral conversation with your ex-wife, possibly with a family therapist, and emphasizing the importance for each of you to speak with respect to each other. Even though your daughter is probably parroting what she has heard her mother say to you, this will impact her thinking, possibly for years to come or for the rest of her life if this is not addressed as soon as possible.

You might want to go with the whole family as well to therapy so you can all start building a new and positive way of relating to each other in the context of the new family structure.

No matter what your ex says to your children, never say anything negative about her. If you are defending yourself, I suggest not saying things like that she was wrong or whatever, but just stating the positives as related to your own self. For example, if your daughter says that you don’t care about any of them, simply state with love that you will always love her and her sibling. Maybe you could even say that you will always love her mother because she gave birth to her and her sibling and that you’ll always be thankful for that. Talk to the family therapist, though, and get some specifics guidelines on what would be appropriate for the ages of children you have and for the particular family dynamics you’re working through.

I applaud your courage in working through this and for finding a way to improve this situation with positivity and love. In the end, love is the only thing that matters.

WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND FOR TRAINING DOGS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

What do you recommend for training dogs? I’m thinking about getting a dog but I’ve never had a dog before.

–Puppy Lover (United States)

DEAR PUPPY LOVER:

Congratulations for thinking about this BEFORE getting a dog. How you set the tone and provide a good foundation for a long life together with your dog is essential.

Once you establish a relationship with your dog and train your dog properly, you might even want to consider getting a second dog if, for example, the dog would be alone during the daytime while you’re at work. That way, your dog would have a pal to hang out with while you’re at work.

First, research what kind of dog you want to get so you can ensure that you can pick a dog that is a good match for you. Some dogs need tons of exercise, which is great if you’re an avid hiker or walker but not so great if you aren’t.

Next, check out Cesar Millan, the dog whisperer. He has a show and books and DVDs.

Also, communicate with your dog’s spirit and be consistent and communicate in psychic pictures as much as possible in a vibration of love and certainty.

Wishing you a wonderful life with your dog, who is very lucky to be with someone like you.

WHAT CAN I MAKE FOR MY DATE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I don’t know how to cook but a potential boyfriend is coming over and I’d really like to make something special for him.

–Newbie (United States)

DEAR NEWBIE:

Since you’re just learning, start with something simple and delicious. Maybe a nice hearty soup. You can do vegetable or chicken broth (I love the Better Than Bouillon brand, which has veggie broth, mushroom broth, chicken broth, and other flavors), boil the broth and throw some refrigerated tortellini in with some nice veggies (maybe carrots and spinach) and boil it for the time recommended on the packaging. Maybe get some packaged salad from the grocery store and a bottle of salad dressing, some delicious bread, and some fresh fruit or frozen sorbet or gelato. Then it’ll be delicious and easy.

Don’t stress too much about the food. If he’s the right guy for you, he’ll the most delicious part of the meal is the the effort and the intention behind the meal.

Put lots of love in the soup as you’re stirring it. That’ll make it taste even better!

Bon appetit!

LOOKING FOR A PRINCESS

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have a hard time staying in relationships long. When I’m with someone, I get bored and I am often tempted to cheat although I haven’t ever done that. But I end up breaking things off quickly, maybe because of this. Part of me really wants to find my fairytale princess and part of me I think gave up a really long time ago.

–Prince Looking for His Princess (United States)

DEAR PRINCE:

Part of being in relationship means loving the person as they are, not just a fairytale idea of who they should be. Even princesses get skinny and shrivelly or gain weight, fart or burp, or get weary doing the laundry, kissing frogs, waving with little white gloves on, or the multitude of invisible thankless tasks expected of princesses.

True love (and intimacy) means holding space for someone with their own unique set of needs and desires in their divine perfection while loving them in their divine imperfection as they figure out the whole being a spirit in a human body thing—no easy task for any of us here on earth.

As far as getting bored and being tempted to cheat, meditate on the energy underneath these impulses. Is it because you have to start facing parts of yourself or parts of the relationship you don’t want to look at and you want to be with someone else as a way to escape looking at these issues? The issues you most want to run from in yourself or in your relationships are likely what will reward you most profoundly in the future if you really stop to delve into these energies and shift them. Do this and you might find you’ve suddenly become a king, not just a prince, and you may just find a queen to co-create a true and profound love and life together if that is what you want.

READERS: THANKS FOR JOINING ME HERE. IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION OF YOUR OWN, FEEL FREE TO WRITE IT IN THE COMMENTS SECTION OR EMAIL ME AT ASKDALIMAMA@GMAIL.COM.

TIPS FOR BREASTFEEDING

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am having trouble breastfeeding. Do you have any tips for that?

–Having Difficulty (United States)

 

DEAR HAVING DIFFICULTY:

I suggest asking your OB/GYN or your doula, or ask them if they have a breastfeeding consultant who can watch you with your baby and demonstrate some tips.

Energetically, it can help if you intend to release any control energy you no longer need and just allow yourself to be and visualize and set the intention of the milk flowing freely from your breast into the baby’s mouth.

If you want to, you can also imagine your whole body and surrounding aura layers as well as the milk inside of you overflowing with love and you can let the baby feed on the love in the milk as it is flowing from you.

Enjoy this beautiful time together with your baby.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF LOVE SPELLS?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

What do you think about love spells and do they work?

–Wanting Love (Brazil)

DEAR WANTING LOVE:

Although love spells do work sometimes, I do not recommend them nor do I perform them for clients that come for energy work. Doing love spells can interfere with a person’s free will, pulling a person’s energy or influencing it in a way that I don’t believe is ethical. Also, doing a love spell on someone is, I believe, creating unwanted karma for yourself.

Instead of doing a love spell, perhaps you might want to ask the Universe to bring into your life the person who is of your divine right. Also, create the energy first for yourself of love and a loving relationship with yourself in order to create the optimal energy for a relationship that matches this love vibration to come into your life. And, of course, do the practical basics such as getting out into the world (even through the Internet on an online dating site if that feels right to you) where people can meet you and have the opportunity to fall in love with you.

Validate the love you have, including for yourself, and even more love will find you in divine time.

LOOKING FOR LOVE

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I really want to meet someone but have been single for a long time. How do a meet someone?

–Lonely (United States)

DEAR LONELY:

Start first by loving yourself and creating a life that you love. Focus on the love you have in your life—love of friends, family, etc.

Also think about what qualities you are looking for in an ideal relationship—both big picture and day-to-day details, and create space and energetically invite the right person in to show up for the relationship.

You also might want to make sure you go to places where you can meet people—clubs where you can meet people with common interests, volunteering, and just being out in the world where you can meet nice folks—friends and otherwise. Many people would really like to meet people but don’t actually go anywhere other than work and home where people can get to know them. Maybe also host some parties and you might meet people that come with friends or meet other people when you get invited to parties.

Know that you are love and you will meet the right person in divine timing.

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

What is the meaning of life?

—G.M. (Ireland)

DEAR G.M.:

That is a huge question that humankind has pondered forever and infinite tomes have been written on the topic. I will bravely do my best to answer what it means to me in a few paragraphs, however.

I believe that this planet offers us extraordinary opportunities to learn certain lessons in our life. We may specialize in certain areas (like learning how to express ourselves, learning how to manifest, etc.) but there are certain lessons many of us are learning common to humankind.

For me, life offers us learning opportunities, a chance to, over and over again, become more of who we are as children of God, in all our divine glory, love, wholeness, beauty, and power. One of these greatest lessons is love—the understanding that we are all one and that we can create so much more with love than we can when we try to create out of fear or separation. Love is one of the greatest lessons, one of the greatest teachers, and ultimately, I believe, the meaning of life—to learn how to love truly, including loving ourselves, and to understand that we are all love and to learn how to be love amidst all the distractions and illusions of the world.

As always, I welcome any comments from anyone. I would love to hear what life means to all of you. And, of course, I welcome any questions on any topic, which you can send in the comment section or email to askdalimama@gmail.com.

HOW DO I MOVE ON FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have been through a break-up and thought I was over him. By doing a lot of meditation, plus taking care of myself, I thought I had already moved on, especially because I haven’t thought about him in a while. Then, today, I ran into him briefly while I was with someone else. The conversation was basically hi and goodbye but I felt something in my heart, something heavy, like a pain. I do not understand why I felt this way. Also, he even gave me a small gift later that day. Please help me to understand what is going on and how to move on completely from him.
Regina (Brazil)

DEAR REGINA:

Love can be one of the most challenging issues, as well as the most rewarding. It’s very natural to feel pain about an old relationship, especially after running into an ex, as that can trigger more waves of old feelings and energies to release from the past. Validate that you could feel that heartache because it shows how much you are capable of feeling, and that’s a very beautiful thing. Also, the more you can feel (and thus have) that heartache, the more that you can feel (and have) joy, love, and more.

Seeing you with someone else may have triggered a little jealousy or regret in your ex, and him giving you a present was a way of trying to pull you back in. Receive the gift as a validation of what you had together, and keep on the path that is right for you, whatever that is.

Think about what makes you happy and focus first on creating a solid relationship with yourself and creating a life that you love. Have your energy for you. Don’t give any energy to your ex, whether that’s in the form of regretting the past, waxing nostalgic about what could have been, or resistance towards running into him. Just validate the past and what you and your ex learned from each other and let it all go to make space for something new and amazing.

Stay your beautiful and open-hearted self and enjoy the ride!

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