HOW DO I GET GUYS TO ASK ME OUT MORE?

How can I get guys to ask me out more?

—Wilting Wallflower (Canada)

DEAR W.W.:

If you want to get to know somebody, maybe you could take the initiative and invite them for coffee or something casual.

Notice too how you’re coming across to people. Perhaps you may want to meet people, but do you give off vibes through body language or other means that keep people away (avoiding eye contact or crossing your arms, for example). You might want to ask a couple close friends that have good people skills what they notice about what kind of signals you’re putting out, and let your signals match your intention by having as much fun as possible as you get to know various people, whether romantic possibilities or just generally cool people.

Enjoy!

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF A WOMAN IS INTERESTED IN YOU?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

How can you tell when you’re a guy if a woman is interested in you?

–Wondering (Canada)

DEAR WONDERING:

That is a good question. And it’s a good sign that you’re asking that question because it means you are capable of paying attention and seeing the situation from a woman’s perspective.

First, notice if she’s wearing a wedding or engagement ring. If so, move on to another potential date.

If she’s not wearing a ring on her wedding figure (although the hand could vary depending on what culture or country she’s from), I suggest smiling and saying hello.

If she smiles back and looks at you for more than a second, you could take the opportunity to ask an open question, like “How are you?” or some open-ended question related to whatever is going on around you if you’re at a party or an event or something. If she keeps talking and doesn’t mention a significant other or boyfriend or partner (when you give her an opportunity to bring them up or even ask her if she’s seeing someone), maybe you could take the opportunity to find out more about her interests. If she’s interested in music, for example, bring up a band you love and if she says something that could be seen as encouraging, like, “Oh, I’ve always wanted to see X play,” then perhaps you could ask her if she wants to go with you to see them perform.

Also pay attention to her body language. Even if she’s talking to you, she could just be interested in you as a friend or a nice person. Is she flirting at all? Flipping her hair or lingering on you with her eyes a little longer than is standard, or looking at your mouth?

Just a few ideas. The most important thing is—if she doesn’t seem interested, don’t take it personally and keep getting out there and meeting people. It’s always fun to meet nice people and you will eventually meet someone who is a good match for you if you keep getting out there. Have fun!

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