WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS THINK I’M GAY?

10/25

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I am a straight man in his thirties but people always think I am gay and outright ask if I am gay. I don’t understand it. What is going on?

—Bewildered (Straightland)

DEAR BEWILDERED:

Bottom line is it’s really not your issue to worry about. If you’re straight, then let people think whatever they want or ask whatever silly questions they want.

People have different pictures (some cultural) about what qualities a gay man may have. The truth is that every single woman runs both male energy and female energy and every single man runs both male energy and female energy. Some people run more of one than the other and the proportions of either may change in the moment according to whatever we’re doing. But let them have whatever pictures they have and think whatever they want and just live your life and enjoy it and don’t waste your thought and energy on nosy questions that aren’t really any of anyone’s business in the first place.

ANY ADVICE FOR A WOMAN WHOSE SEX LIFE WITH A MAN HAS STARTED TO PETER OUT?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I have been dating this guy for a year and things were going really well in bed but lately things have started to peter out. No joke. I felt like we have good chemistry but am concerned about this turn of events. Do you have any advice?

–Frustrated woman (United States)

DEAR FRUSTRATED:

You might want to have a candid conversation with him. Perhaps neutrally say you loved how you connected sexually before but that you notice the energy feels different and ask him what’s going on. Hopefully he will share his thoughts with you. If there’s nothing physical (medications, a health conditions that needs to be investigated, etc.) or emotional (stress or worry at work, for example), it could be that you two can actively spice things up between you.

Sometimes, too, when men haven’t fully cleared their mother’s energy from their energetic space, once they get deeper into a relationship and the novelty between you has worn off, once he starts to hit that female creative energy in you that he experienced in utero within his mother’s body, sometimes that has quite a dampening effect on the man’s sexual energy. It’s kind of the psychic equivalent about thinking about one’s mom during sex, which just doesn’t do it for most guys unless their name is Oedipus. For most men, it’s the ultimate anti-Viagra.

Some men will subconsciously think it’s the woman’s fault or they get bored and chase the next fresh woman with different sex energy, only to discover they once again fell into the same energetic rut no matter how wonderful the woman is if they haven’t worked through letting go of their mother’s energy from their space and reclaiming their own energy.

In any case, I wish you much good sex.

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