WHY DON’T I GET ANY RESPONSES FROM THE DATING SITE?

07 Jan 2015 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Love & Relationships Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I joined a dating site a couple weeks ago but noticed that none of the women even bother responding to my messages although my profile shows that I am an employed professional with a good salary and decent photo (I’m a decent-looking man, some say handsome even). Why haven’t I even gotten one single response?

–Frustrated (United States)

DEAR FRUSTRATED:

First, get some feedback from some of your friends (both male and female) to get some opinions on how you can improve your profile. Of course, you don’t have to incorporate all suggestions but just consider the feedback as research and then, if any of them resonate for you, you might want to tweak your profile slightly. Some small changes can make a big difference.

Second, keep in mind that some women are deluged with messages and people may be particularly busy or traveling right because we just got through with the holiday season.

Third, consider what kind of messages you’re sending. Are you just saying “Hi” or sending a wink? Are your messages thoughtful, demonstrating that you’ve actually read their profile or are they messages like “You’re pretty,” where it’s ambiguous whether you’ve actually read about their interests or hobbies or anything about them beyond seeing their photo? Tailor your messages to demonstrate you’ve read what they wrote about themselves and perhaps ask a question or two to engage them on a little deeper level than just hello, for example.

Finally, create an energetic space for them to respond to you if they want. Sometimes both men and women, in their enthusiasm to connect with someone, don’t realize they’re not creating an open and inviting space to hear back from someone or respond. Experiment with being both neutral and enthusiastic about getting to know someone while letting go off all expectations or demands or notions about how and when they respond to you. Play with this and have fun, no matter whether you hear from anyone or not. If you set the energy of your correspondence and of your dating to fun, it’s much more likely some woman will match that energy of fun and want to get to know you more.

HOW TO DEAL WITH FAMILY MEMBERS WHO AREN’T SUPPORTIVE?

18 Mar 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Growing up, my younger brother and I used to be close. Now he is generally irritated with me and dismissive of anything I have to say or do. How does one deal with family members who aren’t supportive anymore?

–M.M. (United States)

DEAR M.M.:

You might want to tell him you feel like he’s been acting irritable and dismissive and ask what’s going on if you haven’t already. If he refuses to talk about it, just give him space to be where he’s at and be extra loving and validating with yourself.

A lot of people are going through really intense growth periods (feeling irritable or emotional as they’re releasing old energies such as anger and grief as they shift vibrations) and unfortunately many may often take it out on those they love the most.

Don’t try to “heal” him or the situation—just let it be and see what happens as you continue to love and support yourself while continuing to move forward on your path. It’s all too easy to falter on your own path in a subconscious effort to hold yourself back till others catch up with you. But you can make the most difference for yourself (and ultimately even your brother and others by modeling a different way of being) by continuing on your spirit’s path. Don’t wait for anyone. It’s time to be the leader in your life, so move onward with joy.

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