Do you have any energetic tips on how to get rid of clutter?

–Borderline Hoarder (United States)


You’re taking the first step, asking about how to get rid of clutter, which is great.

For the next step, ground the energy of your home and all the objects in your home. You can do this by imagining a big grounding cord going from the foundation of your home, draining any energy that is not yours and no longer for your highest good into the center of the earth, where that energy will be neutralized.

Sometimes, the energy in each object makes it difficult to part with, whether that’s the energy of the person who gave it to you with love, the love itself in the object, or the energy of lack or guilt that makes it hard to get rid of. For example, “Oh, I spent so much on this that I shouldn’t get rid of it” or “Oh that person will feel bad if I give this away.” As you’re getting rid of each object, you can validate it for what it did for you, then release it to go make someone else happy in the world.

Also, notice what each object you have difficulty letting go of represents to you. If it represents the love from the giver of that object, have that love inside of you and let its physical representation go. You have that love always and you don’t need the object itself anymore.

Have fun making space for yourself and creating a home that supports you and provides you with peace and ease.



My 32-year-old friend just found out she has cancer. What’s the best thing I can do for her?

–A.C. (United States)


Well, you might want to start by asking her what she needs from you. Probably the most helpful thing you can do as a friend, however, is just to be there for her and to listen.

Often, when someone is diagnosed with cancer or some other serious illness, the people around them are in so much fear, it’s difficult for family and friends to really be present for that person because they’re either dealing with their own emotions about the news or popping out of their bodies to avoid feeling their own feelings during this difficult time. Just create a space to be with her and to listen. Let her say whatever she feels and don’t feel like you have to keep her from saying certain things like she’s afraid or sad or that she’s going to die. Just listen and hear what she has to say and keep on loving her and showing up for her, especially when the hubbub of initial activity and responses from others starts to peter out over time.

Also, be sure to take time out to care for yourself first if you’re going to be helping her out on any kind of consistent basis.

She’s lucky to have a caring friend like you.



I have spent my life as a single female. Mostly, I have preferred solitude. Yet, I have many friends and activities. But I am in my 50s, and as I get older I wonder if it is cognitively healthy for me to spend so much time alone. Should I consider attempting to acquire a husband? I want to do everything necessary to retain my physical vitality and cerebral longevity.”

—Wondering in Quebec (Canada)


Thank you, dear soul, for making me laugh. I recommend attempting to acquire a husband ONLY if you actually want one. You are obviously a lovely and witty soul and could certainly procure one if you so choose. And someone as intelligent as you can certainly find other ways to retain your physical vitality and cerebral longevity—exercise, extramarital sex, and crossword puzzles, for example. Ha ha. And if you feel like you are spending more time in solitude than you feel is optimal for you, invite friends over for dinner more or spend more time with people.

Seriously, though, although society seems to like to encourage people (especially women) to wed, marriage is not for everyone. There are many forms of love and many forms of family, including the family we create, none of which you seem to be lacking. As you’re still relatively young, a lifetime of marriage for mental stimulation and qi building can seem very long if not for the right reasons—the reasons of your heart’s truest desires.

Wishing you much continued love, energy, and mental acuity.

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