I hate going to parties but feel bad if I skip them. My good friend’s big 50th birthday party is coming up and I know there will be a huge crowd and I just can’t deal. Do I have to go?

–Outskirter (Canda)


I think you don’t HAVE to do most things in life. If you are not comfortable at parties, perhaps you could instead take your friend to a quiet lunch together or make him/her lunch or dinner at your home. That way, you can celebrate this special birthday with your friend while not subjecting yourself to a large gathering in which you don’t feel comfortable.

If you do choose to go to the party, or any party or large gathering for that matter, one thing you can do is to help yourself manage the energy. Many sensitive people get overwhelmed with energy in large crowds. One thing you can do is to imagine putting large energetic roses on each side of you (and above you and below you) and to allow those roses to absorb all the energy that’s coming at you while allowing in only energies that you want in a more filtered, neutral form. And set the intention to go to any party for your optimal fun and enjoyment.

Play with that next time you go to a gathering or go out in public and see if that helps.

Whatever you choose to do, have fun!





I have such deep emotions, and I don’t know what to do with them.  Most of my daily existence is tinged with an undercurrent of sadness, and then sometimes I do things out of rage that I later regret deeply.  How can I deal with these strong emotions?

–S.R. (United States)



It’s great you’re allowing yourself to feel these intense emotions. During the current intense energies, many are turning to drink, drugs, constant mindless entertainment, and other distractions to try to escape from these intense energies, but that doesn’t ultimately help us make productive changes for the long run.

First of all, know that you are not alone. So many people on the planet have been feeling these huge energy shifts, one after another. Sometimes we can feel like we’re drowning in a tsunami and feeling like we’re finally coming up for air when we get hit with another big wave. Astrologically, we’re working up to a Grand Cross, and things will continue to get more intense, particularly over the next couple months. What’s happening on an energetic level is we’re being pushed to align our lives with our authentic selves, and something’s got to give. We’re also in the process of releasing a lot of old energies that no longer serve us, from this life and from way before this lifetime even.

Second, when you allow yourself to feel the grief and release it, you might notice that, as you release each layer of grief, you may find layers of anger underneath. Also notice how you can change your life little by little to create more peace, more joy, and more fulfillment.

Sometimes we settle into a way of living that doesn’t really fit who we are as spirit, with pressures from others as well as pressures that we put on ourselves because we think that’s how we’re supposed to live. I’m sensing this is an opportunity for you to take stock of how you’re living, really examine what parts work and don’t work, and start to make gradual changes to build a life that really fits you, with the help of counselling.

Another thing you might want to do is to channel these intense feelings you’re experiencing into some sort of creative expression—painting, sculpture, dance, or music. Really allow yourself to feel and experience these emotions and transmute them through a medium that resonates for you.



I was saddened by the recent death of the great actor Seymour Philip Hoffman. Is it possible that a long list of drug-related celebrity deaths, which spans the decades—Billie Holiday, Dorothy Dandridge, Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Cory Monteith, and on and on—is partly the result of our unconsciousness as a species? As sensitive and talented people, those artists perhaps were less able to withstand the ordinary and extraordinary cruelties that accompany childhood. And fame, too, brings inhumanity from a public that assumes the famous, due to their privileged status, can well absorb any insult or privacy invasion. Aren’t the mental-health fatalities among celebrities ultimately a reflection of the misery being played out in private by the rest of us? Would such deaths—be they of the tremendously gifted or the quietly unknown—decrease if we, as human beings, were not as inhumane?

–Frustrated and Appalled (Canada)


This is an excellent question, dear reader. Yes, the same sensitivity that makes these people wonderful artists can also make these talented individuals more vulnerable to outside stresses and insensitivity.

And yes, troubled celebrities are a reflection of us as a society as well as individuals. They are just the same as the everyman/everywoman except they have to live their lives under the microscope, with the same pain anyone else would experience during life’s challenges. And surely it is even more painful when one’s divorce or public betrayal by a spouse or death in the family or other heartbreak is broadcast for entertainment consumption.

One way sensitive souls—celebrity or otherwise—can survive the public eye would be to learn energy tools on how to protect their energy so they can better cope with the energy of both the media and the masses. When you see someone who is pretty healthy and successful start to get erratic or self-destructive, it is often because they have so many of other people’s energy in their space, they begin to not be able to function until they tank out.  (I know we can all think of some examples of this happening.) When I have done sessions for famous people, the thing they usually need help with is reclaiming their own energy and space and cleaning out everyone else’s.

Also, it is important for each celebrity (and all of us, really) to be really grounded and clear about their own identity and to do their own inner work so they can handle being bombarded by other’s opinions of their work, their lives, and of their worth. Only when they are grounded in their truth will they be able to survive and thrive, continuing their work no matter what anybody thinks or doesn’t think of them.

As for the public, most people are very well-meaning but don’t realize what they’re doing with their energy (i.e., getting into other people’s energetic space) or how it affects others. Perhaps a good first step for people is to read and subscribe to media that cover celebrity talent in an ethical and respectful way. As long as readers want to read garbage that tears down and nitpicks celebrities and support media that don’t respect healthy boundaries, the bottom line—the almighty dollar—will continue to grow large off the suffering and private details of the lives of the famous, be they creative types, politicians, or anything else.

Here are a few examples of ways to keep up on pop culture and artists that are classy and non-obstrusive:

And here’s an example of a short piece on Dustin Hoffman from Lainey Gossip (–2013/27405) that is a beautiful and edifying example of celebrity reporting. Doesn’t hurt that it features Dustin Hoffman, whom I now think is an even more beautiful person than I did before watching the interview clip.

Thanks for bringing up this important topic!

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