Ask Dali Mama

I have been through a break-up and thought I was over him. By doing a lot of meditation, plus taking care of myself, I thought I had already moved on, especially because I haven’t thought about him in a while. Then, today, I ran into him briefly while I was with someone else. The conversation was basically hi and goodbye but I felt something in my heart, something heavy, like a pain. I do not understand why I felt this way. Also, he even gave me a small gift later that day. Please help me to understand what is going on and how to move on completely from him.

—Regina (Brazil)

DEAR REGINA:

Love can be one of the most challenging issues, as well as the most rewarding. It’s very natural to feel pain about an old relationship, especially after running into an ex, as that can trigger more waves of old feelings and energies to release from the past. Validate that you could feel that heartache because it shows how much you are capable of feeling, and that’s a very beautiful thing. Also, the more you can feel (and thus have) that heartache, the more that you can feel (and have) joy, love, and more.

Seeing you with someone else may have triggered a little jealousy or regret in your ex, and him giving you a present was a way of trying to pull you back in. Receive the gift as a validation of what you had together, and keep on the path that is right for you, whatever that is.

Think about what makes you happy and focus first on creating a solid relationship with yourself and creating a life that you love. Have your energy for you. Don’t give any energy to your ex, whether that’s in the form of regretting the past, waxing nostalgic about what could have been, or resistance towards running into him. Just validate the past and what you and your ex learned from each other and let it all go to make space for something new and amazing.

Stay your beautiful and open-hearted self and enjoy the ride!