HOW TO QUIT SMOKING?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Do you have any suggestions on quitting smoking?

–Hacking and Harried (England)

DEAR H&H:

Congratulations on deciding to quit.

To start, notice what you notice about smoking? Do you have particular triggers that make you want to smoke? For example, do you always want to smoke after eating? Do what you can to make small switches to triggers to make it easier to quit. For example, if you always want to smoke after a meal, make a new post-meal ritual to replace the smoking, like going for a short walk instead of lighting up after each meal. Your body and your lungs will thank you.

Also notice—do you jones for a cigarette when you’re in a certain type of mood? For example, do you grab a cigarette when you feel lonely or stressed? If so, just sit with whatever emotion you’re experiencing and just have it for a while and let it be okay. Often, people smoke as a way to pop out of their body to escape from uncomfortable feelings. Unfortunately, however, the feelings and issues are still there (and probably have increased) by popping out and going unconscious to the feelings by smoking. So just notice what you notice and let those energies be before lighting up.

Also validate that you are senior to smoking, to cigarettes. Validate your power and your power to choose yourself, your health, and your prosperity, over giving your power (and health and money) to a corporation that wants to profit off of your dependence on their product.

WHY DO WE FEEL LONELY IN A CROWD?

DEAR DALI MAMA:

Why do we feel alone and lonely in a crowd? 

–M.C. (India)

DEAR M.C.:

When you’re sensitive to energy, sometimes you could be picking up how other people are feeling. Sometimes, too, if you’re born with a spirit awareness of what it means to truly connect with others, individually or as a group, the physical experience of human connection may pale in comparison and feel less than satisfactory. Usually it is not necessarily because people don’t care about you, but most people are themselves learning how to truly connect with another, much less themselves.

Start by practicing a deep connection with yourself—your heart, your soul, your body, and your mind, and by loving all parts of you, and by validating yourself as “the party,” whether you’re on your own or hanging out with others. Also, keep validating the oneness of all. When you do this, you will feel less and less lonely in a crowd over time.

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