I am a medium and having worked on myself for forever, you would think I would be free of negative attachments (spirits). However, there is one spirit in particular that tries to upset me and it manages to do just that.

It feeds off my need for “external romantic love” and company and comes in and imitates loving energies very similar to those of my partner. It is very conniving and good at getting me off track.  It also knows I get angry at its presence and plays on that. I’m losing the will to live here! I have tried EVERYTHING to get rid of it.

Being an amazing medium, can you see anything I can’t see regarding why it’s here? Maybe I’m doing something wrong as surely there’s a reason it’s still hanging around? Please help.

—On My Last Nerve (Bolivia)



We are all in process, no matter how long we’ve worked on ourselves (and that includes past lives).

Spirits are just like people, who are of course spirits in human bodies. There’s a saying, “What we resist, persists.” Anything we resist energetically keeps sticking around or we’ll manage to get rid of something and something of a similar vibration comes along. For example, if a student is being bullied at school, the more he resists, the more the bully may bother him and may even escalate. However, once the student learns to get neutral to the bully and starts to have more of his true power, the bully will generally find someone else to go persecute. This is of course easier said than done but it is possible with practice and retraining of your attitudes to learn to get neutral to what you are resisting.

Another example is when dealing with energy vampires, people who suck and suck and suck our energy, whether they are narcissists or people who try to ingratiate themselves, then pester to get some kind of reaction and to pull energy from you, even if it negative attention. Once you stop resisting them and give them space to be without giving them any attention, they generally tire and go suckle the energy from someone else, whether that is by charming them or creating drama or pretending to be helpless, or whatever techniques they use to suck energy.

Keep your focus on what’s important to you. Since you want love and good company, use your energy to take practical steps like joining a meetup group for a topic that interests you (hiking or art or movies or whatever) or just get a group of friends together and encourage them to bring their nice friends as well. You’ll meet people, have fun, and who knows what else? And your focus will be on creating positive things you want rather than giving your energy to this spirit or your worries or any negative people or anything else you don’t really want in your life.

Good on you for your awareness and making these changes!



I spent a lot of time getting to know and falling in love with someone special. We had great affinity and spent a lot of time together. Our paths went in different directions and I have moved on to a great degree, recognising it wasn’t meant to be. Although I don’t pine after this person any more, what I can’t get over is the belief that I won’t meet anyone else with whom I feel that merging of hearts and minds and souls. That I’ll ever feel as safe or wanted with anyone else. Or that my heart will skip a beat for someone else like it did for this person. Any thoughts on how to build a bridge and get over it once and for all? I’m so done with myself feeling this way. Thank you.

—Stuck (New Zealand)


Thank you for asking this question.

First, make space for your new mate by releasing old energies (old hopes and dreams about your previous relationship). Also, you might want to clean out any reminders of your old mate as well—photos, digital and otherwise. If you are friends on Facebook, perhaps unfollow him for a while until you’re solidly on a path where you don’t get caught up in moments of regret or fears that you won’t be able to feel that way about someone new.

You will indeed meet someone new but it’s important to get in a space where you will both recognize this new person as a potential mate and also have room in your heart for him. Get out there and join group activities such as Meetup or other clubs with people of similar interests. If you like hiking, look for a hiking group or a film group or singing group or whatever excites you. When you’re ready, you might even want to try online dating but you might want to start with groups so you can just have fun socializing and getting out and making new friends and being part of new communities.

Keep in mind that often when we want something and we’re impatient, it may feel like it will never happen or we cannot imagine how or when something will happen. Before you meet your old mate, do you remember feeling like you never would meet someone new? But you did, as you will again!

Much love.

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