I am a medium and having worked on myself for forever, you would think I would be free of negative attachments (spirits). However, there is one spirit in particular that tries to upset me and it manages to do just that.

It feeds off my need for “external romantic love” and company and comes in and imitates loving energies very similar to those of my partner. It is very conniving and good at getting me off track.  It also knows I get angry at its presence and plays on that. I’m losing the will to live here! I have tried EVERYTHING to get rid of it.

Being an amazing medium, can you see anything I can’t see regarding why it’s here? Maybe I’m doing something wrong as surely there’s a reason it’s still hanging around? Please help.

—On My Last Nerve (Bolivia)



We are all in process, no matter how long we’ve worked on ourselves (and that includes past lives).

Spirits are just like people, who are of course spirits in human bodies. There’s a saying, “What we resist, persists.” Anything we resist energetically keeps sticking around or we’ll manage to get rid of something and something of a similar vibration comes along. For example, if a student is being bullied at school, the more he resists, the more the bully may bother him and may even escalate. However, once the student learns to get neutral to the bully and starts to have more of his true power, the bully will generally find someone else to go persecute. This is of course easier said than done but it is possible with practice and retraining of your attitudes to learn to get neutral to what you are resisting.

Another example is when dealing with energy vampires, people who suck and suck and suck our energy, whether they are narcissists or people who try to ingratiate themselves, then pester to get some kind of reaction and to pull energy from you, even if it negative attention. Once you stop resisting them and give them space to be without giving them any attention, they generally tire and go suckle the energy from someone else, whether that is by charming them or creating drama or pretending to be helpless, or whatever techniques they use to suck energy.

Keep your focus on what’s important to you. Since you want love and good company, use your energy to take practical steps like joining a meetup group for a topic that interests you (hiking or art or movies or whatever) or just get a group of friends together and encourage them to bring their nice friends as well. You’ll meet people, have fun, and who knows what else? And your focus will be on creating positive things you want rather than giving your energy to this spirit or your worries or any negative people or anything else you don’t really want in your life.

Good on you for your awareness and making these changes!




In considering his tragic death from suicide, Robin William’s recollection of childhood bullying is important. While it would be impossible to know all the contributing factors, being stalked so often as a child that he reportedly had to change routes home from school in order to avoid his torturers may provide one clue to his deep sadness.


Think about it: Most people in society say to one degree or another torture is abhorrent even in the cases of terrorists. Our United States Constitution prohibits its application even to convicted murderers. And yet innocent children worldwide are daily tormented, and little is done about it.


I suspect that bullying is an outdated vestige of the ancient tradition of culling the weak. Thousands of years ago nomadic primitive tribes had no use of those ill, elderly, or in any way complicated. They were killed or left behind. Today, bullies view sensitivity as weakness and thus target those they see as vulnerable or different.


Among the many problems with this is that experts suspect child abuse alters the brain in ways that promote early and later depression and suicide. Yet society acts as if the source of child abuse cannot be categorized as such unless it comes from adults. That’s absurd. The results of mistreatment may be catastrophic regardless of the source’s age. When will people stop bullies from committing long-range homicide?


What do you think, Dali Mama? What do you make of all this? And what can people do if they are haunted by memories of childhood bullying?

Thank you for your wisdom.

–Tired of Bullying (Canada)


Thank you for your thoughtful and informative letter. I see bullying as just one symptom indicative of the health of our society. People are separate from each other as well as from their own spirits and hearts. And when people are disengaged from parts of themselves, it is all too easy to either stand by and do nothing when seeing others being bullied as well as to bully someone else in a desperate attempt to cope from your own pain and terror, and possibly from your own experiences of cruelty done to yourself. These days, cruelty is sanctioned and overlooked on a worldwide level as well as on the individual level, with some even turning to cruelty towards themselves through cutting and other forms of self-mutilation.

People of immense light like Robin Williams possibly became even more hilarious and gentle and compassionate due to the difficult experiences they’ve had. Some people, however, instead turn to the dark and become more hardened and become the tormenter instead of always the tormented.

Perhaps that’s the difficult choice we must all make, and keep making as far as transmuting our experiences of pain and not getting stuck in them—to keep choosing the light no matter the shadows that have plagued us. And to remain in the light even when others are unkind to us because the light always vanquishes the dark, without any effort even. Turn on the light and the shadows disappear.

We must remember too that we are not weak or helpless or invalidated even when those around us wish us to believe we are so. Of course, sometimes we all feel like there’s just too much to bear and no one can truly understand what another has gone through or is undergoing. But we can all be there for others when we sense them struggling. Sometimes truly all it takes is a smile or just someone who will sit and listen for a few minutes. And people like you who are thinking about these questions and how to instigate change.




My son gets bullied a lot at school. He’s short for his age. Maybe that’s why he gets picked on. How can I help him?

–Concerned father (United States)


Start by talking to him and making a plan with him and any other family members, taking into account of your son’s input and feelings. Ultimately, you will have to do what you think best as as parent and adult, but do listen to him and make sure he feels heard and incorporate any of his ideas and suggestions that are feasible. Then talk to his teacher and possibly the principal to make sure they know what is going on and agree on a plan to resolve and monitor this situation.

Another thing you might want to do is find something that helps him develop confidence as well as social skills in group settings.

You might want to consider something like either a children’s tai chi or qi gong class (or even some places offer father-son or family classes). This is something that will help him develop confidence and will help him practice allowing his body to let the energy flow and also help him learn neutrality and ease in a peaceful energy. When he is confident and not resisting the energy of bullying, the other kids will start to leave him alone more.

Also, keep the lines of communication open with him and his teachers and principal to monitor the situation while giving him space to learn how to handle himself (keeping a watchful eye from afar) and validating his inner strength and power. Don’t treat him like he is helpless or weak or a victim, as that gives more energy to those pictures. Do what you need to to ensure his safety and well-being while validating his spirit, which is strong and whole.

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