Please, I need help. The love of my life of 46 years has passed, I know he was my twin flame and I can’t go on without him. It has only been a few days I have gotten so many signs, but that is not enough. I want him incarnate back to earth somehow in another person (you know what I am saying). Have you ever heard of this? Please tell me what you know about this and how can I make this happen.

–Missing Him (Country Unknown)


I am very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine exactly what it is like for you to lose your twin flame. Your love will reincarnate on earth but it might not be right away. You might need to wait until your next time as well so you can both be closer in age to each other or able to meet more easily next time around.

Although there have been some cases where people incarnate into another’s body (like a walk-in), it is not always the best thing in every circumstance.

I suggest you pray that you will both come together in the physical and meet again in divine timing that is right for both of you.

In the meantime, although it is not the same of course, keep communicating to your beloved in spirit. We all are spirit and therefore we are all eternal. Please know that your spiritual and love bond will never be broken even when he is without his previous body.

My heart is with you in this challenging time. I hope that, if you want, you will try to have joy and love as your twin flame would wish for you to have.




First, some context. I now live in a remote area with no roads connecting to other towns. I feel I have an almost perfect life. I am part of a community-oriented society. I have good friends whose extended family I play an important role with. The neighborhood kids wave when I drive by. I get a portion of my food from the land which connects me to it and the animals. The people I work with are mostly kind and I make enough money to afford basic living needs as well as regular travel.  They even opened up a small yoga studio recently and I can Skype in to my daily meditation class.

The catch? The only thing missing is the man I am in love with. We are both mid-life. He lives elsewhere. He also has a life similar to mine, “established” with strong foundations.  It has been suggested that he is my twin flame. It certainly feels that way. We met at a conference and we continue to meet in cities other than where we each live. We talk almost daily and when time is available, we can discuss life, the universe and everything for hours. I have never connected with anyone like this before. Everything we read about twin flames is there. We both feel a deep void while we are apart and have a hard time staying in the moment. Instead we count down the days until our next.

My question is: If the opportunity arises either geographically or otherwise, how do I know that it’s worth trading in what I have for something more permanent with him? Should I pursue a change which would alter the existing balance I enjoy?

–Remotely and with Metta, Laicewater


Your love for each other sounds beautiful and it also sounds like you’re well-grounded.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider making a change geographically or otherwise not as an either/or proposition but something in between, maybe even an everything/all. You will always be a part of your community, whether you are there or not, and can always return there should you leave for a while and then decide you wish to return. Or you could move but plan to make regular visits or one long trip back to your current home. If you don’t try, you will never know. For me, I’d rather take a risk, no matter what happens, and see what happens than play it safe for fear of change. No matter what happens, it will be a learning experience and you will have some wonderful times plus the invaluable satisfaction of knowing you can reach for the stars. Maybe what you will create can be far better than anything you’ve ever experienced.

Make sure, though, that if you implement some huge changes to your life that you first think about what you want in your new life and set your new life to you and your enjoyment. Don’t just fall into something that someone else has created for himself before he knew you. Think about what you want and the two of you can create something new together that works for each and both of you.

Best wishes to you.




I wrote to you earlier but have one more question. What’s the main difference anyway between twin flames and soulmates? And is it such a big deal to find your twin flame–or can you have an equally mind blowing and fulfilling life with a soulmate?

–Desperately Seeking M’Soulmate (Bolivia) 


Many people do long to meet their twin flame but it isn’t terribly common to incarnate in the same lifetime with each other, nor would it always even be desirable. For example, if you came in this lifetime to develop a healthy sense of ego and individuality balanced with knowing the oneness of humanity, incarnating with your twin flame might impede that lessons you came to learn.

It is possible to create a mind-blowing and fulfilling life with a soulmate, with a twin flame, or on your own, for that matter. The more you create that for yourself, the likelier it is that you will attract someone that can share that with you and contribute equally in creating a mind-blowing and fulfilling life together.

Short answer about twin flames vs. soulmates: A twin flame is essentially considered your other half. The other half of your soul, if you will. But then again, in the bigger picture, we’re all part of the same oversoul, aren’t we? We are all one anyways.

A soulmate can be someone special (not limited to the romantic realm—a buddy, a child, a parent, etc.) with whom you have a soul agreement to help each other learn different lessons you’ve been wanting to learn. Sometimes this can feel wonderful and sometimes not. You can imagine. Who else but your soulmate would agree to help you release the worst kind of pain or grief or whatever limiting habits or energies or beliefs? Some people pray and pray to meet their soulmate and when that soulmate breaks their heart so they can release all the old grief or walls or whatever they needed to release, they forget to say thank you for having their prayers answered because they don’t know they got exactly what they asked for.

Both twin flames and soulmates come with different teachings and different gifts. For example, with a twin flame, sometimes if you date or marry a twin flame, you have to consciously feed the passion between you because you are one and the same, which doesn’t always translate to hot sex or instant passion. On the other hand, when one dates a soulmate, often there is volcanic attraction and sex between you, fueled by the fires of karma.

Any which way you choose, it’s all good in the end. Just intend to meet the person that is right for you and follow your heart and listen to your spirit.

Much love. Wishing you well on your journey.



I recently found out that my twin flame hasn’t incarnated with me on Earth this lifetime and initially this was a bit of a shock. So I want to know how I can find as close a fit to him as possible in the form of someone else—or is that just not a healthy thing to do…?

Also, what if you meet a soulmate that has a couple of annoying aspects in their personality? Do you just put up and shut up (hoping they’ll change and heal with time) or do you move on to someone else? What should be the deciding factor?

–Desperately Seeking M’Soulmate (Bolivia)


I’ll try to answer your questions one by one. It’s wonderful you’re thinking about these things.

As far as looking for someone who is the closest match to your twin flame, I would suggest not doing so. Instead, you might want to think both generally and specifically about what qualities are important to you in a mate and in your ideal relationship and look for someone with those qualities whose ideal relationship matches yours as much as possible.

If you are looking for someone with the intention of him being the closet thing possible to your twin flame, it’s very invalidating for your potential suitors, and you would also be holding them to an impossible ideal to measure up to because how could he possibly measure up in any way to your twin flame who, because he isn’t incarnate at the time, doesn’t have to deal with bills or jobs or worry or stress or insecurity or the other dense energies of the planet? After all, an incarnate human, no matter how exceptional their spirit is, can never match up to some abstract ideal of a spirit who doesn’t have the challenges of being on the earthly plane.

And of course, I’m guessing likewise you wouldn’t feel very good about the situation if your partner compared you to some impossible ideal, whether it’s his twin flame who is not incarnate in this lifetime or an ex or a wife who passed away at an early age or some celebrity or to anybody else for that matter. That would do neither of you any good at all.

As far as meeting a soulmate with a couple of annoying aspects in their personality, I’d be amazed and thankful if they just had a couple. Ha ha. Every single one of us humans are replete with annoying aspects and the funny thing (even though it doesn’t always seem funny) is the most annoying aspects are those that match our own challenges in one way or another. Also, the thing about soulmates is that we have soul agreements with each other to bring to light some of the oldest and gnarliest pain or lies or whatever else has been tamped down inside of you that is not really you, and that process is not always fun. Not in the least. Of course, there’s always free will so you can run away from these lessons and always try again at a later date or lifetime, but I always like to go for the growth now.

Finally, I suggest that you never date or marry someone, soulmate or not, hoping they will change. If you can’t live with them exactly as they are, don’t marry them. Don’t even date them once you discover any dealbreakers (and each person must decide for themselves what those dealbreakers are). Hopefully your dealbreakers are misalignments to your core values, not things like that he wears socks with Birkenstocks or anything less pertinent to true compatibility.

Another even funnier thing is that you may run away from someone because of their annoying facets, but you’ll soon discover that no matter how many times you move on, you’ll move onto someone new and discover their own unique set of annoying facets. You’ll also probably find they have annoying facets that are very similar to the ones you ran away from because you left the last relationship without addressing what you needed to learn from that relationship and without releasing your own matches to those energies you found extremely annoying.

Only you can decide what is most important to you and what the deciding factors or dealbreakers are. However, keep in mind that we all are imperfectly perfect as humans and that’s part of the package for us all. Knowing this, if you want, practice validating and seeing the divine in every single person you come across and that will open up the space for love with the person who is right for you in the moment

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