HOW DO I MAKE FRIENDS IN A NEW PLACE?

08 Dec 2017 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Love & Relationships, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

I moved with my husband to a different country three years ago but I still don’t really have any friends here. I am shy and it is hard for me to meet people. Sometimes people have parties but they don’t invite me. How do I make friends?

—Lonely in a New Country (Hong Kong)

DEAR L.I.A.N.C.:

You may be lonely right now but I guarantee that you are not alone in feeling lonely and feeling like it is hard to meet people.

Perhaps you could look on Meetup.com to see if there are any local groups you’re interested in. They have all different topics—film, hiking, dancing, writing, international societies, and much more. Many cities also have local clubs that are listed in the paper. You could also perhaps reach out to the wives of your husband’s friends and extend a friendly hand.

If people have parties but don’t invite you, how about hosting a party yourself? It’s a great way to show your interest in developing friendships with people and you’d probably make someone’s day who is also feeling a little lonely and isolated.

WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL ME I’M CREATIVE WHEN I’M NOT?

04 Jun 2014 Leave a comment

by askdalimama in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DEAR DALI MAMA:

People always tell me I am creative but I don’t see that at all. I work at a bank as a teller and do nothing creative. I’ve never been good at art or music or writing or anything creative. What’s the deal? I get so irritated when people tell me I’m creative. What does that mean?

–Frustrated non-poet, non-artist, non-creative person (Canada)

DEAR FRUSTRATED:

Well, maybe you’re creating proof you’re not creative, which would be very creative of you! Ha ha.

Bank tellers can be very creative, just as much as anyone else. Maybe some just tend to use their creative energy differently at work or on their own time.

Maybe you get irritated because there’s truth to the statement that people keep telling you. If someone went up to you and told you that you have purple hair, would you get mad? I’m guessing not. Because you know it’s not true and there’s no energy around that statement either way. Now, as far as being creative….

I believe that every single one of us is creative in some way. It’s up to each of us to find out what that means for us. What do you love to do? Start by playing—play with media you don’t normally do. Go to one of those shops where you show up and paint yourself a mug, for example. Doodle in the sandbox. Get one of those zen drawing tablets. Don’t be attached to the outcome. Just do it with the sole goal of having a great time—of playing. Then see what happens. Try the exercises in Practice of Poetry by Robin Behn or Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. Make art everywhere—create sculptures with your spaghetti or oatmeal or anything you eat. Create outrageous and delicious combinations of smoothies tomorrow morning. Doesn’t matter if it’s good or not–look at it as an experiment you can enjoy and modify over time. Draw designs on your stomach with chocolate sauce. Play! Have fun! See what else you can create while having a blast.

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